Now You See Me.

Yesterday was a day of hangout with AOG Crew and Miss_B. It's so fun and we came to a sharing part where I cried my whole tears when I opened my ace card to them. It was so shocking myself that I told them that time. I never thought I'd told them that early. Even when we arrived, I told Ichel I'll tell her something someday. That someday is that day.. Well, now you see me. The real rei. You see my flaw. That I am NOT any good or any perfect. Well now, let's walk on the way they want me to walk on.. I trust my crew, and I will keep moving with God beside them.

Today I practiced for Yel2 DBL with Fanny and Pian but I din feel my body to the max. It feels heavy and my body moves aren't flowing. I don't know why but I feel like resting from dance for the rest of my holiday. My body and mental is too tired.

I had my haircut twice, yesterday and today. Yesterday at Poppy Yenny where Erick cut his hair. But it's messed up so I made some more shaggy on the pony this evening. Funny hair, I hope it grows fast -_-

Today I opened the photos in my friendster profile and I was like "Wow. Is this me?" It's really different. Haha.. And in facebook I opened the profiles of the people in my past. It brings back some memories. And I really wanna say to everyone who made fun of me and the ones who smacked me mentally: "Look. I'm not who I used to be. I'm not that Rei you always laugh at. Now I'm movin' up and I fly. Really not on your level! :)"

Tomorrow I'll go to Bali. Let's just have fun :) Last time I went to Bali was two years ago. How I miss that crazy place. Bali I'm comin'... Yo let's do da thang~

Holla, Holiday.

Walking without looking back too much.

Last week AOG Crew practices with just me, Erick, and Chachia. It's fun just the three of us. We'll joke and laugh along the practice. Well, we're bonding closer :) Then we compete on Saturday where I wasn't a professional dancer. I was an emotional dancer. Even when I danced, I thought of what expression I should make up. Damn, it's such a bad dance. Erick and Chachia danced with real joy. In the night, I was sad and in the next day, where I should dance again, I was angry in the car, then my dad exploded in the morning and I was like, "This isn't my dad! This isn't my family! I'd rather be outside home!".. Yeah, that's what I thought all this time and that's just what I always think. Then my dad knew that I had bitterness from my mom and dad. And I don't really know if it's right. All I know is, I always can't fit in with my dad. But now, I have to really control my emotion. They're my parents, I have to be a real kid.
In the night, I danced with real joy, Chachia and Erick told me they enjoyed it better yesterday but blah, I made up for them this day. Maybe in the beginning, there's a little "distraction" like yesterday, and yeah, my emotion was a little bit fired up but whatever, I wanna dance here, that's my purpose of being on the stage. And I'm a professional dancer as I should be :)
After the dance, I went home and when I was about to sleep I read a disappointing statement and gosh.. Good thing I din hope too much. I think she's with another and let's just forget. Good thing I din put all my damn feelings.. And now let's just focus on dance and school. I wanna be a great hiphop dancer. I wanna be an good highschooler. Love just makes me weak. Hip Hop helps building me stronger. :)

Today I practiced for DBL Yel-yel and my left back muscle got screwed and it's hurt to move. Oh well, now I got weird muscles and don't forget the blurry eyes. Aaaaaaargh... Heal, heal, heal!
In the practice Pian told me that he saw that I'm not all out in my dance with AOG, like I'm minder of the others. I think no, but there's actually a little piece in my mind saying so. :/

What I really want now is to cut my hair (My sis told me to cut like Alan Luo, and I said yes. But I want the front hair to go down, like what it used to be.), then I wanna buy Supra or NikeAir shoes (I don't want it to be full white, but Erick told me it's dancer's but still, I want it to be mixed with another color -_-). I wanna learn sexy hiphop too! It's fun, you know. I think I have the soul.. Haha

24-29 June I'll go to Bali for a holiday. I hope it's fun with those siblings. Sometimes I don't fit in with them. Holla, Holiday :)

Everything Changes.

Separate ways, hopefully without the emptiness of sound.
I hope to hear much, yet it couldn't possibly that much.
Even maybe nothing..
Thousands of sorry. Thousands of thanks.
Now the role is to cover.
It's harsh and painful, but it has to be like this.
Maybe they're bad, but the memories will stay beautiful.
There's no regret, there's no hate anymore.
Time just flows to fast..
Bringing shocking things that changes everything.
From now on, it'll be different..
I hope I can stand firm.
Masking this tearful face..
Let's just be a robot.
A hiphop robot.

Sorry to forget, thank you for what I get..

VANILLA TWILIGHT by Owl City

The stars lean down to kiss you
And I lie awake and miss you
Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere

‘Cause I’ll doze off safe and soundly
But I’ll miss your arms around me
I’d send a postcard to you, dear
‘Cause I wish you were here

I’ll watch the night turn light-blue
But it’s not the same without you
Because it takes two to whisper quietly

The silence isn’t so bad
‘Til I look at my hands and feel sad
‘Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly

I’ll find repose in new ways
Though I haven’t slept in two days
‘Cause cold nostalgia
Chills me to the bone

But drenched in vanilla twilight
I’ll sit on the front porch all night
Waist-deep in thought because
When I think of you I don’t feel so alone

I don’t feel so alone, I don’t feel so alone

As many times as I blink
I’ll think of you tonight
I’ll think of you tonight

When violet eyes get brighter
And heavy wings grow lighter
I’ll taste the sky and feel alive again

And I’ll forget the world that I knew
But I swear I won’t forget you
Oh, if my voice could reach
Back through the past
I’d whisper in your ear
Oh darling, I wish you were here..

Changes, Horrible Past, and Now..

AOG Crew. This is my crew where I belong. I've just been here for only 5 months but look, many changes happened. Many unfortunate things happened since I entered. Changes here, changes there.. Now AOG Crew is an independent crew. Now there are new member, who was actually an ex-member of AOG Crew. Now we have seven personals. We have some crazy troubles back then but it's over now.
Not only those things occured.
Five of us ; Accel, Flat, Innocent, Robopop, and MadPrince.. We're the ones who had been in that crazy atmosphere. Then Miss_B bond us again. We know our minus sides and we'll change it. For me, I lack of confidence to dance with them.. And I know now that's why people say I'm not good enough to be with them. But now, everything will change, from every one of us. We shared our bad stories about everything, our past, our troubles, our family.. And that's when I started to feel that I actually love them.. I love each one of them. I wanna be better and better for them.. I don't want them to be sad. (Actually it's kinda cute that when they're sad I pat their head.) I wanna act like a little brother, big brother, best friends, and everything for them.

In Bust A Move Dance Competition, first round, we don't know why, but we sure dance in a mess. Position and blocking mess, details mess, and what's worse, we even forgot the moves considering it's actually an old concept that we used several times! Miss_B told us we're bad, really bad and that we din dance with one heart. It seems like we danced for ourselves, not for our crew. And she gave us alot of stories about LMSC's experiences and that we should learn alot from them. Yeah, I want us to be a better and better crew, even really nice enough to beat those senior crews! Then Miss_B told us that character is 1st, 2nd is skill. And she told us she knows every of our badness and that she'll take each one of us to walk with her, one by one, someday to share and to change our character. When it's my turn, I hope she knows everything even about my horrible truth.. ^^ And then I hope I'll change to be a better and better dancer.
The second round, we really enjoyed our dance, and I felt I was more detail too. I danced with heart, and they felt the same way too. ..
"Narine enak y td!" "Uenak pooll.. :)" "Iya uenak :D" ..
How I love them. :)
Then Miss_B told me a thing that really makes me smile. It really makes me wanna grow more and more. She told me that I have proven to them, that I'm not just making AOG worse.. ^^ Thanks to God, efforts are not worthless in His eyes. Thank You, Lord. I hope I can be a better and better streetdancer for You, AOG Crew, and for little rei.

Now we're one family. When I can't stop being care to them. I just have to be confident and confident and hold the faith that we'll be a better and better crew. Maybe now it's hard for us to grab a 1st place but just wait, we'll try to change our character first and be a better and better streetdancer, crew, and family.

Well, practices waiting! This Wednesday will be the 1st day of 7 members practice! It'll get fun and crazy! Hope Kak Sem will be more patient.. Hahaha..

I LOVE YOU GUYS.. I LOVE AOG CREW! :)

Harsh And Wicked Streetdance World..

On Saturday I went to Sutos and it's crowded with a hell lot of streetdancers, mostly from Papua. I really love their style of having those hair, black skin, oversized t-shirt, oversized baggy pants, and huge Supra shoes. It's so hip hop! Someday I'll get the look! (Not including the black skinny thing -_-) And then I met so many guys out there. I met Noph, Glad, n Sav SCRATCH. It's been a long time since the last time I hung out with them! Lhona ex-CITY WARRIOR. It's great to meet my ex-dance club friend. Danny, who's been my online friend. And a whole lot others. I stay with Garry, n the other TTP guyz. But at times I felt rather like a traitor so I went to Erick, Yeye, Cha, n the others. Then in the night Mia and the other FRIX guyz came. Meaning it's crazy mode: ON. I laughed a ton. Then after the dance competition we went to karaoke and as usual.. SEXY BITCH! Sexy dancers all over the room including me.. Hahaha.. It's hell fun to be with them. Well, I thought I have a really nice relationship with all streetdancers from dance crews in Surabaya.. They were so kind to me and I thought, "My friends must be wrong. Streetdancers are not as sneaky as they think. They have hearts and they have other world than streetdance. So why must think they're bad?" But then last night I changed my mind much.. Something reached my ear and I was really shocked.

Last night I heard something really stabs.. Some people say I only make my crew looks worse. And the one who says that is them, the guys who looks okay in front of me. They treated me really nicely, and I always see them up there, I envy and I respect them, of being some cool streetdancers whose level I must chase. I always protect their name too, in front of my friends who always told me to be aware of them.. I hardly believe they'd say something that bad about me.

Look, I know I'm still ways below you, and maybe even ways below my own crews's level. But please don't push me like that! You don't know how I struggle to dance. How I really love dance, how I searched for clubs to be entered, how I searched for places so I can practice with Miss-B. I did all of 'cause I can't live without dancing.. Then I think.. Maybe it's right, that your talent are bigger than mine since you're born. Maybe I can't even overpass Erick and the others's talent. Maybe there's a limit for me. But hear this.. I'LL BREAK THAT LIMIT. I love dance, and I won't stop dancing and dancing even if people say I can't dance. I believe, God watches effort and humility to be better and better.. I'll keep on dancing. And when you guys see me on the stage, someday, you'll accept me as a streetdancer. I hope only a little word of you guys.. "Rei is a streetdancer." I only need you to accept my existence.. And give me time to prove that I can be a good streetdancer, not an AOG Crew member who only makes them look worse on stage.

I know how B** felt when the judge at Venom Dance Competition told her she has the worst power.. And for the other streetdancers who felt this kind of sadness.. Let's have the passion and patience to learn even more. People can't judge our talent, cuz the only thing that determine we are a good streetdancer or not, is our effort and attitude :) Just wait for the time and they'll see.. That we can even be a better streetdancer than them.. Chill and relax, God appreciates humble people who doesn't say bad things about others. Streetdancers who say bad things about others is only zero.

I Must Grow.

Yesterday Lia told me there's a freestyle session for the one who wanted to try, in yesterday's regular class. I din come cuz I must study for the last exam. And Lia told me that Ko Nico told her she got her own unique style already, in her groove freestyle. Wow.. That's alot for her.. ^^ Well, hearing that, I started to look at myself. In freestyle I chestpop alot and it feels monotone, even sometimes it feels rather not fun. I din really enjoy my dance.. Well, in concept too, sometimes I still need to feel the soul of the music.
Then I heard Yeye entered LMSC. Wowie.. Yeye Minute. Congratz to him! He's a great popper :) They have their own style.. Erick is famous for his ticking, Yos" for his tutting, Yeye for his isolation, Ichel and Julia is famous of their technique, Chachia gets praised and fans for her popping. Now.. What's mine? Well my way is still a really long way to chase them.. I'll try my best. And in reguler class exams, my target is to always be in the 1st rank. I'm an AOG Crew member, I won't embarrass them. My way was so hard back there.. Seeing this I won't feel down and useless. I'll just try and I'll grow. I must get better and better. I will be a great streetdancer like what I've been dreaming when I was still a stupid and nerd rei.. Stupid rei on the 8th grade who wanted to be a streetdancer.. Haha.. Look, little rei. I won't be just an ordinary streetdancer like you dreamed. I will work it out till I become a different streetdancer, before the time is up. Just you watch and pray for me in the past.. ^^ Hehe

Insomniac-Forced To Be.

Since Sunday I've been sleeping at 2 o'clock to study harshly for the last exam. I really wanna show that I'm not actually dumb, I just couldn't manage time well back then. Now just watch my scores when the result pop out >:)
1st Day - Math : Did it really nicely
2nd Day - Physics : Really nice as well. I became logical in this test and passed it well.
3rd Day - Chemical : Did it well. Made some mistakes because of lackness in logic.
Well I did the 3 science things well. This way I hope Pak Totok who doubts that I can enter IPA bite his lips. Look, world! The "Rei" is back ^^
Well tomorrow will be the last subject of science, Biology. It's assigned with Geography tomorrow, so I'm studying a ton right now.. Huahh my mind feels so full!! Arggh.. Jiayou, rei!!
After that will be other tests out of science but I still wanna keep studying like this.. My target is to achieve scores at least above 80, all subjects.
Sunday till yesterday I've been in a call with Onel every night to study together. It's really nice since we shared our blindness and helped each other. It really helped in the tests. :) But on the second day Onel went to sleep accidentally as usual and it's like outta mind to wake a sleeping Onel so I hung up the phone and study myself even though I got blinded in some things.
After school(Except today cuz tomorrow's subject is extreme) I always practice dance with my class's dance team for the Pekan Olahraga Sekolah Dance Competition. I use a concept of hiphop and ballet. But I don't do the ballet thingy.. Hahaha.. I just teach the ballet girls how to dance hiphop. Ticking, waving.. It's like nostalgia when I first tried to learn them.. ^^
Tomorrow at least I can take a break cuz the day after will be only Economy/Accountant n English. I can relax in English more, and study Economy n Accountant the most.
Well, just keep up in every subject and ask for God's help.. ^^

Dance. There's been some problem and errors. I work with RoboPop togeher to try to fix it to the right. But things seems to get more complex.. But me and him just try to look for the best way. Let's see what's coming next and focus in the fixing of this mess after UKK.. I don't want things to get worse too. I want a comfortable and solidarity in this team.. This second family.

Love. Ignoring interests. Hell with liking. Let's just enjoy high school :)

Money. Next month seems to be promising :)

Friends. Online friends and classmates are the best for now.

Health. Not really well cuz I sleep late. I try to handle it with vitamin C, Sangobion, Milo, and HiLo Teen.

Fashion. Gosh I'm fading from this thing. Let's only wear basketball shorts and tees.. Haha

Well, gotta continue studying! Let's pray for everyone to advance to the next grade with nice scores.. Amenn :3

THE SALTWATER ROOM by Owl City

I love Owl City's musics these days. I downloaded their songs a ton and they're all good. Their music's lyrics is always poetic and deep meaning..

I opened my eyes last night
And saw you in the low light
Walking down by the bay, on the shore
Staring up at the planes that aren’t there anymore
I was feeling the night grow old
And you were looking so cold
Like an introvert, I drew my over shirt
Around my arms and began to shiver violently before
You happened to look and see the tunnels all around me
Running into the dark underground
All the subways around create a great sound
To my motion fatigue: farewell
With your ear to a seashell
You can hear the waves in underwater caves
As if you actually were inside a saltwater room

Time together isn't ever quite enough
When you and I are alone, I’ve never felt so at home
What will it take to make or break this hint of love?
We need time, only time
When we're apart, whatever are you thinking of?
If this is what I call home, why does it feel so alone?
So tell me darling, do you wish we'd fall in love?
All the time, all the time

Can you believe that the crew has gone and wouldn’t let me sign on
All my islands have sunk in the deep, so I can hardly relax or even oversleep
I feel as if I were home some nights, when we count all the ship lights
I guess I'll never know why sparrows love the snow
We’ll turn out all of the lights and set this ballroom aglow


So tell me darling, do you wish we’d fall in love?
All the time.

Time together isn't ever quite enough
When you and I are alone, I’ve never felt so at home
What will it take to make or break this hint of love?
We need time, only time
When we’re apart whatever are you thinking of?
If this is what I call home, why does it feel so alone?
So tell me darling, do you wish we’d fall in love?
All the time, all the time

Time together isn't ever quite enough
When we’re apart whatever are you thinking of?
What will it take to make or break this hint of love?
So tell me darling, do you wish we’d fall in love?
All the time..