Now You See Me.

Yesterday was a day of hangout with AOG Crew and Miss_B. It's so fun and we came to a sharing part where I cried my whole tears when I opened my ace card to them. It was so shocking myself that I told them that time. I never thought I'd told them that early. Even when we arrived, I told Ichel I'll tell her something someday. That someday is that day.. Well, now you see me. The real rei. You see my flaw. That I am NOT any good or any perfect. Well now, let's walk on the way they want me to walk on.. I trust my crew, and I will keep moving with God beside them.

Today I practiced for Yel2 DBL with Fanny and Pian but I din feel my body to the max. It feels heavy and my body moves aren't flowing. I don't know why but I feel like resting from dance for the rest of my holiday. My body and mental is too tired.

I had my haircut twice, yesterday and today. Yesterday at Poppy Yenny where Erick cut his hair. But it's messed up so I made some more shaggy on the pony this evening. Funny hair, I hope it grows fast -_-

Today I opened the photos in my friendster profile and I was like "Wow. Is this me?" It's really different. Haha.. And in facebook I opened the profiles of the people in my past. It brings back some memories. And I really wanna say to everyone who made fun of me and the ones who smacked me mentally: "Look. I'm not who I used to be. I'm not that Rei you always laugh at. Now I'm movin' up and I fly. Really not on your level! :)"

Tomorrow I'll go to Bali. Let's just have fun :) Last time I went to Bali was two years ago. How I miss that crazy place. Bali I'm comin'... Yo let's do da thang~

Holla, Holiday.

Walking without looking back too much.

Last week AOG Crew practices with just me, Erick, and Chachia. It's fun just the three of us. We'll joke and laugh along the practice. Well, we're bonding closer :) Then we compete on Saturday where I wasn't a professional dancer. I was an emotional dancer. Even when I danced, I thought of what expression I should make up. Damn, it's such a bad dance. Erick and Chachia danced with real joy. In the night, I was sad and in the next day, where I should dance again, I was angry in the car, then my dad exploded in the morning and I was like, "This isn't my dad! This isn't my family! I'd rather be outside home!".. Yeah, that's what I thought all this time and that's just what I always think. Then my dad knew that I had bitterness from my mom and dad. And I don't really know if it's right. All I know is, I always can't fit in with my dad. But now, I have to really control my emotion. They're my parents, I have to be a real kid.
In the night, I danced with real joy, Chachia and Erick told me they enjoyed it better yesterday but blah, I made up for them this day. Maybe in the beginning, there's a little "distraction" like yesterday, and yeah, my emotion was a little bit fired up but whatever, I wanna dance here, that's my purpose of being on the stage. And I'm a professional dancer as I should be :)
After the dance, I went home and when I was about to sleep I read a disappointing statement and gosh.. Good thing I din hope too much. I think she's with another and let's just forget. Good thing I din put all my damn feelings.. And now let's just focus on dance and school. I wanna be a great hiphop dancer. I wanna be an good highschooler. Love just makes me weak. Hip Hop helps building me stronger. :)

Today I practiced for DBL Yel-yel and my left back muscle got screwed and it's hurt to move. Oh well, now I got weird muscles and don't forget the blurry eyes. Aaaaaaargh... Heal, heal, heal!
In the practice Pian told me that he saw that I'm not all out in my dance with AOG, like I'm minder of the others. I think no, but there's actually a little piece in my mind saying so. :/

What I really want now is to cut my hair (My sis told me to cut like Alan Luo, and I said yes. But I want the front hair to go down, like what it used to be.), then I wanna buy Supra or NikeAir shoes (I don't want it to be full white, but Erick told me it's dancer's but still, I want it to be mixed with another color -_-). I wanna learn sexy hiphop too! It's fun, you know. I think I have the soul.. Haha

24-29 June I'll go to Bali for a holiday. I hope it's fun with those siblings. Sometimes I don't fit in with them. Holla, Holiday :)

Everything Changes.

Separate ways, hopefully without the emptiness of sound.
I hope to hear much, yet it couldn't possibly that much.
Even maybe nothing..
Thousands of sorry. Thousands of thanks.
Now the role is to cover.
It's harsh and painful, but it has to be like this.
Maybe they're bad, but the memories will stay beautiful.
There's no regret, there's no hate anymore.
Time just flows to fast..
Bringing shocking things that changes everything.
From now on, it'll be different..
I hope I can stand firm.
Masking this tearful face..
Let's just be a robot.
A hiphop robot.

Sorry to forget, thank you for what I get..

VANILLA TWILIGHT by Owl City

The stars lean down to kiss you
And I lie awake and miss you
Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere

‘Cause I’ll doze off safe and soundly
But I’ll miss your arms around me
I’d send a postcard to you, dear
‘Cause I wish you were here

I’ll watch the night turn light-blue
But it’s not the same without you
Because it takes two to whisper quietly

The silence isn’t so bad
‘Til I look at my hands and feel sad
‘Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly

I’ll find repose in new ways
Though I haven’t slept in two days
‘Cause cold nostalgia
Chills me to the bone

But drenched in vanilla twilight
I’ll sit on the front porch all night
Waist-deep in thought because
When I think of you I don’t feel so alone

I don’t feel so alone, I don’t feel so alone

As many times as I blink
I’ll think of you tonight
I’ll think of you tonight

When violet eyes get brighter
And heavy wings grow lighter
I’ll taste the sky and feel alive again

And I’ll forget the world that I knew
But I swear I won’t forget you
Oh, if my voice could reach
Back through the past
I’d whisper in your ear
Oh darling, I wish you were here..