Tomolo Will Leave Surabaya..

Tomolo will go to S'pore. I still can't figure out what to buy there. All I know is a LOT of my fren asked for a gift.. Haha.  Maybe I'll look for something that isn't anywhere here in Indonesia. Tomolo will depart at 8.. Whew.. What to shop for? I need socks, white pant, accessories, cargo, and..dunno la! I think they're in Indonesia already.. -__-" But I'll absolutely buy shoes, maybe Everlast's if they have this slope shoes I want. And I'll buy for Onel too since I haven't buy him any buffday presents. Hehe.. I'll absolutely wander around China Town, and Raffles Center.

Actually I wanna stay in Surabaya and compete with the next dance team at PHBE Event 2010.. Tomolo Jojo will replace my position. Do it well, Joe! Hehe.. I had fun these days with Garry, Joe, Jesslyn, Killa, Patty, and SE. We're a really crazy team.. Jokes a TON. Haha.. I love every single words Sydney said and how Garry, me, and Jojo make fun of Sydney xD I think Imma miss you guys.. I still wanna dance with you all :( But whatever la.. We can still dance together at IPH and UBAYA dance competition, AM I RIGHT?? [Repeating] Wakaka..

Kay.. Better, and Better Streetdancer.

Today I performed at Gor Pacific, UPH Basketball Dance Competition. Our school really is poor! Other school wore cool costumes, and we just wore class jacket.. EMBARRASSING. But Julia said : "What important is skill". Yeah, that's absolutely right. And I was nervous again on the floor. The opening, groovy move, I was so nervous and my heart beat so fast that I danced [over] fast. Noo. And then Miss_B told me I looked down again when I danced. Well, I didn't realize it. Tomorrow I'll look forward to the judges for sure. [Fosho] Haha.. Tomorrow will be a streetdance freestyle battle with Cita Hati, which means I'll go battle with Ichel and Julia. Well, it'll get kinda tense since they're so damn good at dancing. But whatever, we're just the same streetdancers! We dance to express our own style. Every streetdancer has their own style, and I just gotta show 'em what I got, right? The style of Korean Fashionista.. The style of Autismo.. The style of Rei!

UPH Basketball Dance Competition..

This morning I woke up so late at 6 a.m. My sister was shocked when she opened my room and found me still lying on bed. Haha.. I woke up so late cuz last nite the voltage in my territory gone down, then I can't sleep. Good thing Onel accompanied me. But we joked real lot that we din go to sleep till 2 a.m. Crazy stories about our childhood and things. Then this morning I just told my parents I woke up late because it's so hot last night and I couldn't turn on the AC. Whew.. A bad intro for a new week.

Tomorrow will be my second dance competition! We will perform multiple times.. about 4 times with the same concept. Whew.. Actually we're not quite ready cuz we just started practicing one week ago. We haven't even practiced the position. Just the concept. Whew.. Tomorrow I hope I won't be as tense as before. Just relax.. Show what I got. Everyone's gonna show off, and there's no need to be shy of what you got. Then about the freestyle battle.. I hope I won't go down too. I must be brave and step up. Freestyle.. Just feel the beat and the rythm. I can always do freestyle when I'm alone and I enjoyed my dance.. But in front of just Garry I feel shy.. What if tomorrow in front of Sanmar students who has nice streetdancers that Julia even said she won't be sure she can overwhelm them? Just dance, Rei.. Everyone's watching. If you duck out you'll look dumb. Just get on the floor.. And show 'em what you got.

New Fights.. New Hope.

Today I got in a fight with Ichel. It's when I read her status update on Facebook that I was so boiled and I called her. I smacked her with bad words and things. I'm so boiled.. With P** too, she's the most boiling. Like, she's a real backstabber. Then things gone bad. And I said "I'm not entering ### Crew." And then I hung up the phone and I called Miss_B. I told her all of the problems and the things happened. It's really nice to open up to her. She gave me a ton of advices and stories about her life, which is similiar with mine. She told me to pick a way that is best for me and my dance life. She told me that she too, once had faced the same dilema. Leaving her own dance crew which feels like family and blah, for her own talent boost. Well, that's kinda harsh. But I think it's best. Then she told me all about Last Minute life. It's so fun listening to their story.  Then I made up my mind and I called Ichel. I told her sorry and then we laughed and I told her I'd join ### crew for 1 month trial first. Right.. I wanna feel it first. Hehe.. I hope I fit in and I can practice well > < It's harsh to be an ### member, you know..

### Crew.. I think I will boost in this Crew. Boost REAL LOT. After all, this is what I want back then.. To enter ### Crew.. But I have to really be discipline and fit in with the guy and gals. Serious practice.. Whew.. I must chase their level. God, help me so I can dance with heart.. ^^

Back to The Future?

Last nite big brother told me to tell my stories to my friends. Start to be an open person.
Then today I began to smile to everyone. With smiles, I moved my seat in class, just to refresh and avoid the deadly thoughts. And then.. It works! I joked a lot. I smiled a lot. And I even talk to . again. Wow. A nice change. Thanks to big brother.. If not for him, I won't be tryin' to survive this mess..

I remembered I told Virgin to do "breakawall" things if u don't want to regret something in the future. Something that worth trying, that we have to sacrifice our pride, if we want to break free. Then why din I do this first thing? Humans.. Can tell other people to do something that he won't do.

About this FF thing, I don't really care anymore. I know that you're not a caring person. And do what you wanna do. Be where you're happy to be. This RxPlague.. I just don't understand why addicted so much. Not an important thing for me. Breakup-complete-breakup-complete. There's no end of it. Boring.. Sum1 said you changed a lot too. And it's enough for me to think too much.

Now just concentrate on study.. Fashion.. And Streetdance!
My HipHop Schedule ::
# JANUARY #
++++ 26th
UPH Dance Competition

# FEBRUARY #
++++ 5th & 6th
International Dance Workshop. [LIKE THIS!]
Friday, Feb 5, 2010
1st class 15.00 – 16.30 Lyrical Hip Hop
2nd class 17.00 – 18.30 Hip Drop
3rd class 19.30 – 21.00 L.A. Style

Saturday, Feb 6, 2010
1st class 15.00 – 16.30 House
2nd class 17.00 – 18.30 L.A. Style
3rd class 19.30 – 21.00 Hip Drop

* Wowie.. 9 hours for a day!!!!! Get ready to be destroyed, bones and biceps! Hahaha.. This is the first international dance workshop here.. The teacher is from Holland. Hip Drop, LA style, Lyrical Hip Hop[Groovy? Dang! hit my "YEA." meter!] . But the fee is not good for laugh.. One day I must pay Rp. 250.000. And Rp. 450.000 for 2 days. Yeah, whatever. It's HIPHOP, yo~

++++ IPH Dance Competition

++++ Continue private dance lesson with Miss_B..

# MARCH #
++++ UBAYA Dance Competition

________FUTURE GUESS________
? JULY ?
++ Open Hip Hop Extracurricular at school [which is REAL nice.]

? AUGUST ?
++ LM Workshop 2010


_________________________________________________

Nice hiphop plan.. ^^

For Fashion, I just planned this after Chinese New Year..
- Shopping with Onel, Nenko, Reval, etc.
- Studio Photo [Sydney asked for this..] with SE, Thya, Stella, Onel, Virgin, etc.

Whew..
I just wish that my normal high school life is back.. Yeah, slowly but sure as big bro said.. =]
Not just for this day.. Like last Tuesday. I just feel it that day. I don't want it to be like this

Monday      | TUESDAY      | Wednesday
Thursday     | FRIDAY       | Saturday

YELLOW represents day with smile.
No, not like that!
Why not this week that 2nd line, then next week Wed and Saturday, next one Mon and Thursday? -__-"
Haha
LOL
Thanks, for your support..
AH Virgin Reivaldi Sydney Thya Theodora

Getting Worse Than Ever.. The Wheel of Life Spins Too Fast..

The wheel of life.. It spins so fast. I just feel some happiness here in high school.. Then somehow it just vanished away. I had the bad feelings at 9th Grade back. I feel so alone, aside from my friends. I'm so distant with them, with myself, with everything..
Just yesterday I can still feel happy. Then the wheel spinned 180" in one night and today I feel crazy that I wanna die. Scary life.. I hate living like this. Back to the sad me. The sad rei.. Seems like my life's not gonna be the same for a while.. I'm gonna be back to the Reinhard who is silent, calm and strict like the old Reinhard. Actually I hate being this self, but big brother says maybe it's actually the real me who always force to come out..
But the real me, the silent me. I won't go crazy anymore. Is that who I really am? If I don't go crazy, I'll lose much friends, that's what I think Phew..
Today I really see that my hunch was right. I stay silenced in class, since I'm sick. And then not many ppl talk to me. They talk to somebody else. So they only wanna talk to the crazy r e i.. They don't want this Reinhard, the other side of me. See? Real friends.. Is BULLSHIT. There are no true friends. If you change, they're gonna throw you, not accepting you the way you are.. Or maybe it's just for me, the stupid rei. ;p.
I only think.. Virgin and Yoga could be my real friend. If I'm down, they're always ask why, and caring for me... Not like the others. SE? Patty? Onel? Jojo? Where are they when I need them?
Virgin, Yoga, big bro.. And Reivaldi too, he really cares for friends a lot.
I hate "Friends forever." . I hate "Love for eternity.".
SE said I'm so mean I said this. But that's the bitter truth I know.
My life's so screwed.
I'm all alone. Always alone..

At Least I Still Have You .

Today I feel so alone. I feel so indifferent, so angry that I stayed away. And then I din even talk much with Onel. At sport time, I sat alone, weeping about my sad life. My life.. Such a sad story that haven't found the happy parts again, can be said. I'm waiting for the happy parts of my life.. ^^ Too much thinks I've thought these days.. A LOT of bad things. And I really have to get hold of them. I have to enjoy my high school life, and my real life once again. Not weeping under it like this. I wanna break up this wall and go surface to the fresh air.. Where I can see the light and enjoy my life in any part.

I know that I've been so stupid all along. Being sensitive and losing heart like this. I think on my own desire and feel on my own desire. No. I mustn't be like this. I wanna go back to my normal life. The normal Rei who lives and has big hopes even though the reality isn't like this. I must see with eye of hope, not only the eye of reality. And then do things accordingly.

Normal Rei, please come back.. Don't be like this anymore. I don't wanna lose everything.

And even though now I don't really have anyone, at least I still have you..
Even though I hurt you much, you still stay beside me.
If you wanna go, so be it but you don't..
Thanks for everything . Sorry for everything .

我爱伱~*

Brain, Can You Stop Just For A While?

Feeling so tired these days.But really got support from friends. And I hope I'll choose the right path later in grade XI. Social or Science.. I think I'm the social type.=] But if I'm entering social, then it means I better leave Petra 5 High.. And search for a better Social linked school. Petra 1 or Petra 2? I actually really wanna enter Language link, but it's only available in Carolus and Santa Maria.. And I don't like those school very much.

And by the way, I made up my mind. I'll chase X's level. Changes may occur, but that's that. Rivalry.. But this makes things gets weird, though. I don't wanna lose friendship, but whatever. I'm gonna grow. Today din really talk much.. Just concern about my study, study, and study. I don't really care about friendship and love. I better boost up myself first. And my spiritual life too. Really have tu put my faith all on Him who gives everything.

I feel so distant. Distant with everything. But this is good I think.. Being a study machine rei without soul, like in grade 9? Haha. Nothing like that. It's a better study machine with a little part of soul. Now have to keep emotion stable and relax. Concentrate on what I learn, not what I feel. Feelings are futile and fragile. Yet they are strong and cruel. Control your feelings.. And you'll get control of all over you. Stupid feelings calm down.. A better rei is in the pot.

Don't Care No More.

This is me, my lifestyle. No need to see you so deep. No need to look at you from below. From now on, later, will be better and better. And when the time comes, see that I'm worth more than you.

Sometimes I wonder.. And I'm really jealous of your life. ^^

This day I din go to school. It's been a flu and bad hair days, so I wanna take a rest. And this day too, my psychotest result came up..
And the result really disappoints me.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
GENERAL KNOWLEDGE
IQ : 119 [only above average, going superior]

TALENTS
Verbal : 90
Numerical : 80
Scholastic : 90
Abstract : 45
Mechanic : 15
Room Relation [2D/3D Thinking] : 85
Clerical Speed : 70

JOB INTEREST
Social Self : 99
Natural : 5
Mechanic : 20
Business : 90
Art : 50
Science : 30

TYPE
Verbal : 99
Manipulative : 50
Computative : 50

- Your intelligence is above average, and can finish study in level of University.
- Specific talents in : Verbal, Room Relation, and Numerical
- Study track : Social Knowledge
- Your job interest is in Social Self and Business
Using verbal skill, and in routine level.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My IQ.. it's just 119, above average and below superior.
Well, I should be grateful. But I thought I'm better than this.. And I'm really disappointed of myself. It feels like I'm so stupid.. And I'm embarrassed with my friends. They will get superior level, I bet. Even the low scored ones.

And seeing the graphic.. My talent's so not balanced. I'm best at one thing, but at another thing, I'm an idiot. The graphic is up and down, not like waves but like mount - cliff - mount - cliff. Steeps.

And seeing my real life, and X's real life. It feels like we're total different.. He's so smart like he can do anything and know anything. Me? I'm just good at some things.. And an idiot in others. He has so much friends.. And it's friends that comes to him. True friends too.. Me? I have A LOT acquaintance. But none of them are real. And I'm the one who comes to them.. X.. He's really good that his life seems so smooth and peaceful.. He seem to be able to do all that he wants, and gone cheerful on things that he can't really do. Me? Just a good-for-laugh boy.. Haha. I can't do general things I should do. I'm good at weird peculiar and odd things. I'm so jealous of your life. ^^

Future Generation.. These Kids Including Me..

Pastor Phillip told us that the day after he went home from Singapore he was waken up by Lord Jesus at 5 in the morning. Then he prayed for his daughter and son, so that they have a prophetic and bright future. Then when he prayed for us, the sons and daughters of Mawar Sharon people, suddenly Lord Jesus gave him a vision. A vision of us, daughters and sons, one by one, like a fast rolling slideshow. We are an even greater generation than this time's Mawar Sharon's generation. He said Philip Mantofa and other great preachers are just an opening advertisement. The real show will begin at about 20 years from now. And he told us to mark this word of his. I'll mark it..


He said not only businessman preach, but also CEO and other great "big" people. High class people preach and serve Lord Jesus. And he told our parents to love us.. Give us love words.. "I love you" and "I'm sorry" as often as they can. I only thought, I even don't think my parents really has a bond with me, even if they say things like that.. I feel like, we're just different people living in one roof. But I will try as hard as I can to feel a family..

For my future, I would foresee something big. I'm a streetdancer who dance for Him BIG. And I overcame my problems already, He saved me deep already, so I can help save other souls. And I won't be as hesitant as now.. I'll be an open person. I'll have my beautiful wife, and raise a gentle and God-loving kids. I'll love them, and I'll protect them at any cost. I'll make them fashionable like their parents, and I'll give good teachings for them, to be a kid, and a teen not like how his dad was. I'll have them enjoy and feel Lord Jesus's love..

I just wanna say this.. I wanna face a bright future with you, Lord.
Please help me..

Feeling so stupid..

A bad beginning of the year, but must go on.
Forget about the flaw.
Won't want things to go the same as 2009 again..
That's the last.

I'm feeling so nah..
Like, who am I with?
Who's my so called friends?
What's my real self like..
What's my real skin like..
What's my + sides are..
And which is the -s one..

New Physics Teacher. It sucks.

Bu Dina is leaving this city and maybe now she's in Japan.
And we got a new replacement teacher here..
First time he entered my class, it's obvious that somethin's outta place.
His body is so athletic, but he acts so girly and he wears hazel contact lens!!!
OH GEEZ
We had bad thoughts of him since the first time.
And we totally compare him and pair him with Nenco, who acts similiar but ALOT better.
He gave us his FB, and when we open it that time..We saw his profpic..
HE'S SHIRTLESS!!!!!!!
Oh God this teacher totally gives me the creeps.
And the Interest, you know what?
BOKEP!!
JESUS!
And I had this really baaad feelings about him and when the break came I called my big bro, fast. I asked him to open his FB.
When I'm home Beni's daughter smsed me...
She asked me to search in Google with the keyword : ______ which is his email and she said it's shocking...
And I tried to search from my mobile directly..
and guess what I found.
he's a member of FORUM ______
JACKS!!! DANIELS!!! JOHNY!!! WALKERZZ!!
AAAAAAA >O< >O<
HE TOTALLY GIVES ME THE CRAZYHEAD
and when I open his blog it's all Gay site and so disgusting
YUCKSS
* i'm gonna throw up *
HOEEEEEkKKKKKKKKKKKKKk
BULLS EYE HE HIT MY DISGUST METER
Just hope that this year runs fast so I can stay away from him every Mon and Fri.
LARRKKKSSS
UUGHH

2nd Chapter of High School Life.

It'll start tomorrow. Hope things will turn out well and nice..
And I hope I don't get back to my old style of living.

1st January.

Well, it's the 1st day of this year.
It feels sorta gray..
But I hope everyone still gets the fresh and nice day, not like me.
As for me..
I'm tellin' myself..
THIS IS NOT AN INTRO AND PROLOGUE OF THE WHOLE YEAR.
The whole year won't be this gray..
It'd be a great year.
But dunno why, I have so much fears in head..