Souling..

2 weeks ago until yesterday I was extremetely busied by streetdance life. There were 2 dance competitions and it's on 28 and 29 March. 28 was Vitacimin Dance Competition and 29-30 was Loop Dance Competition.

We practiced so hard and everyday we came to LM's homebase at Darmo. Since kak Sem was in Singapore, Miss_B made us the concept. Everyday. I began to socialize with LM guys. And it's so fun to be with them ^^

28th. Vitacimin Dance Competition.
We met alot of streetdancers. A WHOLE LOT OF THEM. And since it's a high schooler's competition, I met Mia Manson etc. Mia and Carla is 2 crazy freak from frateran. They would come to handsome boys and took photos with them. I got to know Fung2 (David TTP) as well. He's a great streetdancer from TTP. We took a lot of photos as streetdancers. And this is my 1st competition with AOG Crew.. And I was so excited!!
AOG Crew performed with Vitacimin jingle and Tortilla Chips concept. (I really like tortilla chips!! > <) But I didn't performed my best. I couldn't burst my power cuz I'm too concerned with details. In the end, Juju and Erick performed with crazy power and it's total black and white with me n' Ichel's power. And we din perform with such details and correct interpretation and face expression. TTP was so cool like crazy. Fanny were like real doll and Fung2 has this crazy techniques and expressions. Takupaz grabbed the 1st place, TTP 2nd, 3rd dunno, and AOG got in big 5. Next time I'll do better > < After the performance I met Betet (another AOG member) for the first time and he's a crazy guy as told and Eddie Tripleks, etc. Wowie.. Real dancer community. '-'

29-30. Loop Dance Competition.

29. We practiced before we get there and I took a shower in LM's homebase. Then we went to Loop and I see this crazy crowd of cool people and streetdancers. WOW! It's even cooler than vitacimin, ALOT COOLER. TTP came but didn't competite, Takupaz as well. Takupaz just sent their small team, Tabakar. I saw JX too and that's what makes me boiled. We performed with Take Your Shirt Off (A song from the Streakerz Crew, every crew must use this) and we did our best. I burst this power like I wanna go crazy and everyone shouted and scream for AOG Crew!! We did our best and we got the 1st place for Hip Hop Dance Competition ^^. LM guys were there to watch and my friends too. Kaz, Nina, Jan, my family, Ian. Uwahh... Great! :D

30. After school I went to GHP. And along the practice I was a little boiled with mad. And we practiced for concept (tortilla chips mixed with to the moon) and I was really confused with the locking part. I always learn bad in locking.. Uwahhh... I practiced myself a lot in locking and everyone told me to join regular class fast. Yeah I must so that I can dance with the same class as them! HuwahH!! Then we went to Loop. Not as many people as yesterday. And then AOG performed with the Tortilla chips and to the moon. I burst my power yet again in To The Moon. It was a nice concept and a killing krumper's one '-'. And then we we entered final, battling for the 1st and 2nd place. With Tabakar. We battled with them and I forgot again the locking part..arrghH!!! They're a good team with correct timing. We're lack of timing but have good skill. Whew.. And the judge put Tabakar in the 1st place. Hmm.. Nevermind!! NEXT time we'll get 1st place! Groarr~

The 3 days were fun, complex, and feels so long.. And it's really enjoyable.. ^^
But now I have to get confused with the munny. Costume, regular class, shoes. Zz.. I have to save alot from my monthly money. My parents don't really supports me in hiphop like always. They always say I'm getting more rude from hiphop. No, I'm not! And I must pay them all by myself nyaaaahh~! Must be a saving guy. Jiayou rei! I can pass thiss hiaahahaha~
AOG Crew tralala trilili cikit aye~!!!

I'm still a little boy.

I'm typing this note when i'm suffocating. I don't know why, but it's hard to take a single breath inside.. I just wanna sing and sing, with my weak lung and things happened.. I wanna sing and cry. I wanna shout loudly to the ocean and tell the ocean how I really feel now. If only someone knows how I really feel.. If only I can break free and tell everyone what I really am. No one really knows.. No one really understands.. And the only thing I need is friend. I need them to make me smile, to make me believe that tomorrow will be bright.. I don't really need love right now, love has fooled me thousand times.. And now it's fooling me again.. Stupid rei, you should've known..^^ Well maybe I'm just a little kid. I don't really know how should love the right people and be loved properly and lastingly.. But when I say I love someone, I won't be lying and it's from the bottom of my heart. Why would lie in love? Why would waste the "love" word? But I don't understand.. People can say love that easy without considering the heart of the other.. If you know you someone loves you and you can't love them.. Don't give hope to them. It's kinda hurts inside.. Even for a boy like me who still doesn't understand anything.. Can I cry? I thought no, cuz I'm not a mellow and melancholy guy. But why do tears fall down my face just like this? I should've known from the beginning.. Nothing lasts forever. At least that's what most people says.. Well, cheer up little boy! I'm gonna be a grown up soon, and when I do.. I won't be a fool like this.. I hope.. Now let's just try to fill my days with smiles.. And when that day comes.. I hope my friends will be there around me. Thanks to you guys I'm still the lively rei.. ^^

When That Day Comes..

All day I hangout with 3rd and I tried to do what 2nd told me to.. Think of 3rd as just friend. And then I tried to do so and it felt rather confusing.. I couldn't figure out what 3rd really is for me. And then we ate at Fu Yuan, then purchased the ticket for Alice In Wonderland.. Then we shopped at hipermart, wandered around, 3rd being caught walking with me by phone (it's accidentally, weird.), and finally to 3rd's apartment. We watched the TV then we fell asleep. And we joked about this "zolimi zolimi" thing.. Hahaha.. Then we woke up at 4.40, the movie starts at 4.45!! Gadzook we rushed to the cinema and watched the movie.. Good thing it wasn't that late.

Then I took 3rd to WaPoSeRa (my mom's fren's penyetan at foodcourt) and we bought food and brought it to the apartment. We ate there just like a little family and it feels really funny.. "papi" and "mami".. ^^ And then we watched TV again where my body went weird that I felt ill. And I slept on the couch. 3rd me that someday 3rd will be back to the way.. And I knew it's really shortly. When that day comes, it won't be like this anymore and I must yet again forget.. So I thought, why don't start now? I won't want to regret when it's too late. But why? Why did 3rd even made me love 3rd before? Why did 3rd take me from 2nd? Why did 3rd wanna waste last days wif me? Dunno la.. Uwahhhh... I'm happy for 3rd! ^^ Yeah, well, like that.. My little fairytale will end shortly. Hihi.. Not more than a month and I love this fairytale.. I love the gypsy's prophet.. I love how it became real.. I love when 3rd told me 3rd will love me different way than 2nd.. And I love 3rd.. ZZ.. Don't cry, eh! Stop you're not the mellow rei.. -__-"
Hahaha
Laugh for your life.. ~~

When we're on the way home 3rd bought me some medicine and I got home..
Maybe this is the last.. funny day..
Hahaha
Thanks for everything you did to me..
Waking me up to study, protecting me, cheering me up when 2nd's gone, supporting me, take me to eat, take me to walk, zolimi, giving me days to love you, and.. To write a fairytale in my life.. ^^

Nightmare.. About 3rd?

Yesterday morning at 4 a.m. I woke up from a nasty nightmare.. I woke up in a hospital, where everyone is my school's students and they're mourning. And then someone came to my bed and told me.. Jojo's dead. And then I cried really hard.. And this thing just came out to mind.. "Jojo's been full of evil and it will pass to close friend" and I was scared along the dream, really scared. Then I came to a church and drop my shoes (I brought 2 of them) and still scared, I just walk and then I saw Virgin and Reval from afar. And I called to them so they can accompany me and.. Whoosh they just gone away from me by car. They left me alone.. And then I suddenly rode a rollercoaster with my mom, pop and sis and suddenly when the train goes faster my wagon alone went apart from my family and it goes really rapid alone. And I see around and I was afraid of seeing Jojo. And suddenly my train crashed and I left it and I ran. Suddenly I'm in my room. And I was so afraid and I recall what happened in the past. I was in a ballroom with Ojan and when the party's about to end, a guy played the piano, everyone mourned and was mourning the death of someone named about Agastya ---- who is Jojo's sport instructor. No way. I gone more scared and I wanted to sleep but I know I couldn't. I want to SMS or call my friends but I knew I won't be sleeping fast that way. So I came out of my room and I found Benita sitting on the desk in front of it and we chatted and the top of the room outside my room is transparent with the skies and night stars.. And I came back to my room with her accompanying. The AC was malfunctioning, the plasmacluster light should've been blue or green, but there's yellow and eventually it gone mad, red green blue yellow pink etc and the mirror in my room started to glow, there were pictures in the mirror (reflection of the AC's light) and then suddenly the picture gone blurry and I heard a voice telling me to call the gypsy and I did. The gypsy tried to clear the blur but she couldn't. And Tante Cindy(Julia's mom) was beside me and told me to just push the painting inward. So I pushed from the left and right side and the image became clear. it was an image of rose connecting one another (2 roses) and then the gypsy told me to choose one of the shapes in the reflection. Juju's mom told me to choose the chili shaped one in the middle, and I did so. It was like earring with twin chili on it and whoosh!!

@_____ ______@ (the image is about about like this)
V

_
J J (twin chili earring)

Suddenly I was back in the church with Ojan, looking for my shoes and dad helped me. And I couldn't find it and eventually when I found it, whoosh I went back to the hospital with people still around, every single one is from my school's X grade as far as I can remember. So this hospital is like my school and someone came and told me something I couldn't remember and the dream ended..

When I woke up from the dream, I feel all my body tired and I was still shaking of fear. I was so scared. And suddenly 2nd Heart smsed me, telling me missing me. And I called 2nd. It was unfortunate that we woke up at the same time.. And I told 2nd all about my dreams and how my waist is still hurt in reality from shaking in the rollercoaster in the dream. And when I think of it, many of the things in the dream is connected with 3rd heart and my love story.. The hospital, the train (3rd just rode FoodFestival's train just last night), the gypsy, the church, the AC.. And this dream explained my friends were leaving me.. Yeah I'm getting afar from them.. Is it some kinda warning? Scary..
The 2nd heart told me about waking at the same time shows that 2nd's love is pure and things and.. I sleep again..

You Know.. My World Changed A Lot.

Seeing my world now and how it is just a week before.. It's totally different. Last week and before my life is full of High School things (and it's scattereeeed..!) and Streetdance. Yeah, I performed with AOG Crew in Bima Restaurant. It was not really nice cuz I can't control my emotions, feelings, and power.. My freestyle is half bad too. Later on, I'll do it right. I'll take control of them. AOG Crew featuring Chorcel Minute.. Ce Chorcel is a nice and fun tomboy girl and it was a great experience dancin' wif her =].

Last week when I'm lonely someone came and just whoosh! Erased my loneliness. And showed me the way outta it. And just then.. Made me turn my heart.. And then, what the gypsy girl said became reality.. "Just when you're going to the 3rd Heart.. The 2nd will rise again and you'll be entangled wif everything. It's your decision to choose the third or second.." I never thought it's this fast. The 2nd heart come and we reconciled. Just then.. When the 2nd heart knows that I have the 3rd Heart, the 2nd angry wif me and the 3rd heart protected me and I cried..a lot. Then the 3rd heart took me to go elsewhere and cheered me up along the way. I dunno but I feel comfortable wif the 3rd.. The 3rd told me that has never found the right people, and I wanna make myself the right one.. Dunno if I can't, but I'll try. But the 2nd.. I still consider as my closest sibling and I won't want to go away. But 2nd told me to choose and I really can't. 2nd..3rd..2nd..3rd.. No way I won't choose. Let it flow naturally. For now, I think my heart goes for the 3rd.. I don't want to disappoint the 3rd..

Yeah, love story dominates my day, my everything. I don't really have the time to chat with frens and things! I need them.. Maybe I should get more refreshed with them. I don't want to just put my life in this love tale.. Yeah, now my life is like fairytale, just like it. Told so perfectly.. Protect and be protected, to choose one love, to be entangled, to love and be loved, to believe and be believed.. Nawhh. Don't turn mellow, rei..

Today was my first experience of photo modeling. Yeah, HBS Dance Crew's Highstreet Fosho Hip Hop Store made me one of their apparel model.. ^^ It was really nice.. I hope this modeling thing can expand.. Not just streetdancing, I love fashion too and I love to be photo taken.. ^^ I got nice 3 t-shirts from this session. Yeah, thanks God You give me a chance to do these things.. ^^

I remember when I'm with 3rd and this song played and i smiled to myself that time. It's so deep meaning for me..


Vierra – Rasa Ini

Ku tak percaya kau ada di sini
Menemaniku di saat dia pergi
Sungguh bahagia kau ada di sini
Menghapus semua sakit yang kurasa

Mungkinkah kau merasakan
Semua yang ku pasrahkan
Kenanglah kasih

Reff :
Ku suka dirinya, mungkin aku sayang
Namun apakah mungkin, kau menjadi milikku
Kau pernah menjadi , menjadi miliknya
Namun salahlah aku, bila ku pernah merasa ini


When.. When 3rd told me 3rd loves me.. I may not believe so fast.. And I won't want to have a really strong feeling too. More, 3rd will stop being like this shortly.. And i won't want to get hurt. And if I'm just a person to make 3rd forget about 3rd's past hearts, I won't want it. Plus, I don't know 3rd really well just yet.. To believe is hard right now.. Everything is never as it seems..

Walking To A New Path..

These days full of tire. Dance practices, homeworks, tests and things. I din do well on math, biology, economy, and I haven't take the chemistry test.. TT My school feels so unorganized and I wanna start over. TT
I made a lot of mistakes this week. In dance life too, my mom seems like she doesn't support me, so dance is whatever for her. Arggh.. Keep dancin' ^^
UBAYA Dance Competition seems to be cancelled and now just preparing for AOG's performance in ce Chorcel Minute's boyfriend's mom's birthday party. (Wew.. complicated) I must dance sexily with the song Hot and Cold (Chippetes) in front of the audiences TT And Loop dance competition too.. It's a dance competition where the music is given 9 days before the H day so we must create the concept fast in that period. But Kak Sem is in Singapore and we don't know when he will come back.. Last Minute and AOG Crew is in confuse and we all miss him to comeback. I remembered that AOG's last practice was different as Juju and Ichel said. Kak Sem left some note "trust your frens" and "u have to surpass kak Sem". Yeah.. All LM member got private messages too before he left. Now we must run, run, and run. No stoppin' for frens, they have to run too. Kak Sem, I hope you get better and better and be a legendary streetdancer, and we, your students can be like you too.. heheh ^^
I wanna dance and dance and dance and dance.. No stoppin' ^^
I'm alone now, no really close person to take care of me and things. But I know I got my friends around. hehe..
Thanks everyone for your support.. ^^

I Can't Stop Stressing Myself Down..

It all began with X, got sweet with X, and turned to nightmare by X. I don't know, really don't know which part of X is to believe. Everything that X says proven to be a bullshit. After yesterday I told X about X's mistake, X don't say any sorry at first, X just give me more excuses. And I was really disappointed. X just say like that and told me more about Xself. Always all about Xself, it's been 2 weeks since X never talks with me for real. X been so busy, but X always has X fruitgad to contact anyone, and I was thinking if the forbidden people are there. When going with me, X has always been busy about X's fruitgad and that's the reason I went silence when X told me to eat. I didn't really pay attention, cuz X told me not to sms and eat first, but X alone go with X's fruitgad like boom. I was so angry that time, and I'm disappointed of X. It's like X being hypocrite. Well, that's just a little problem. X's facebook is full of forbidden people, and X always says X will protect me from them. Not allowing me to approve them and mostly message with people. But what about X?? X wall-to-wall with them like there's no line and getting childish to them. Forbidden people will like X that way, obviously X should know. Then why does X actually do that? And X goes to phone number. And X said to me yesterday that X only asks phone number to ordinary people. What's the difference ? Why does X ask for their number? To make them be forbidden people as well? To accompany X? X told me to keep my phone number from public but there goes X.. And told me that X only sms with me, but what's the ideal truth? Well I don't really care about that, but X lies to me so much.. Well X told me about me being the last and things. Yeah, does it forbid X from loving any other even right now? No. But it's up to X now, the promise has fade anyway.

I thought when I opened up to X yesterday X will change.. X din even sms me good nite or anything. Yeah X said X not givin' a fake care, but where are that word's fact? And then I cried that night, thank God my friends accompanied me and made me laugh.

This day, I feel so angry all the day and I became so depressed and I still can't believe that once we known each other well and once X said those words. Those words that traps me now. When I say X's a good person, I believed it's right.. And when X always says X wanna make me happy and that love is real, I tried to believe. And now here's the bad truth for me.. Then I saw this news feed about he went to message again with that newcomer guy just when I woke up and I came to remember X's words don't ever message with them..

I can't believe everything. Everything seems like just a dream, and when I woke up now, I know and see the real one in X.. I can't stop saying "You're so mean.. So mean.." in my head. Yet again, why does the song "Fairytale" keep playing? I can't help but hope that I find someone to lean on.. Someone real, not pretending.. Someone who acts better than words.. I hope someone who really cares about me come and I can cry on them. I hope I won't hate X so bad.. It's so bitter for me. I never hated anyone like this.. It's so deep. Really deep.. Forgive me, God. From beginning I should've known it was wrong. It was wrong.

For now I just have to try to forget about this, and all the memories, bad and good one. "The story never exists".. I can't do it with friends of course.. The one who replied X's sms rudely.. The one who supported me in my status.. The one who really wanted to punch X.. The one who practiced a cold face and made me laugh when I cried.. The one who accompanied me when I can't sleep alone.. and the others.. Thanks for everything, I really need your support right now.. ^^ I don't wanna hate anyone.. Hating is bad.. I know you guys can help me throw this hatred feeling. I wanna chill down and enjoy back my high skul life, and it'll be no high skul without you.. ^^