I Can't Stop Stressing Myself Down..

It all began with X, got sweet with X, and turned to nightmare by X. I don't know, really don't know which part of X is to believe. Everything that X says proven to be a bullshit. After yesterday I told X about X's mistake, X don't say any sorry at first, X just give me more excuses. And I was really disappointed. X just say like that and told me more about Xself. Always all about Xself, it's been 2 weeks since X never talks with me for real. X been so busy, but X always has X fruitgad to contact anyone, and I was thinking if the forbidden people are there. When going with me, X has always been busy about X's fruitgad and that's the reason I went silence when X told me to eat. I didn't really pay attention, cuz X told me not to sms and eat first, but X alone go with X's fruitgad like boom. I was so angry that time, and I'm disappointed of X. It's like X being hypocrite. Well, that's just a little problem. X's facebook is full of forbidden people, and X always says X will protect me from them. Not allowing me to approve them and mostly message with people. But what about X?? X wall-to-wall with them like there's no line and getting childish to them. Forbidden people will like X that way, obviously X should know. Then why does X actually do that? And X goes to phone number. And X said to me yesterday that X only asks phone number to ordinary people. What's the difference ? Why does X ask for their number? To make them be forbidden people as well? To accompany X? X told me to keep my phone number from public but there goes X.. And told me that X only sms with me, but what's the ideal truth? Well I don't really care about that, but X lies to me so much.. Well X told me about me being the last and things. Yeah, does it forbid X from loving any other even right now? No. But it's up to X now, the promise has fade anyway.

I thought when I opened up to X yesterday X will change.. X din even sms me good nite or anything. Yeah X said X not givin' a fake care, but where are that word's fact? And then I cried that night, thank God my friends accompanied me and made me laugh.

This day, I feel so angry all the day and I became so depressed and I still can't believe that once we known each other well and once X said those words. Those words that traps me now. When I say X's a good person, I believed it's right.. And when X always says X wanna make me happy and that love is real, I tried to believe. And now here's the bad truth for me.. Then I saw this news feed about he went to message again with that newcomer guy just when I woke up and I came to remember X's words don't ever message with them..

I can't believe everything. Everything seems like just a dream, and when I woke up now, I know and see the real one in X.. I can't stop saying "You're so mean.. So mean.." in my head. Yet again, why does the song "Fairytale" keep playing? I can't help but hope that I find someone to lean on.. Someone real, not pretending.. Someone who acts better than words.. I hope someone who really cares about me come and I can cry on them. I hope I won't hate X so bad.. It's so bitter for me. I never hated anyone like this.. It's so deep. Really deep.. Forgive me, God. From beginning I should've known it was wrong. It was wrong.

For now I just have to try to forget about this, and all the memories, bad and good one. "The story never exists".. I can't do it with friends of course.. The one who replied X's sms rudely.. The one who supported me in my status.. The one who really wanted to punch X.. The one who practiced a cold face and made me laugh when I cried.. The one who accompanied me when I can't sleep alone.. and the others.. Thanks for everything, I really need your support right now.. ^^ I don't wanna hate anyone.. Hating is bad.. I know you guys can help me throw this hatred feeling. I wanna chill down and enjoy back my high skul life, and it'll be no high skul without you.. ^^