2009's End..

It felt so fast..
Last year I spent my new year just at home, playing Persona 4. And it's at Marukyu Striptease. In 2009, I don't really play PS. So it didn't make any long progress. Last year, I was hoping that next year's gonna be different. I won't feel like doll anymore, living with no life-feeling. But now, I think it's just a slight different.. I still feel like a doll. I dunno, but it's a great feeling or it's just a hunch.. The problem's all from my back side of neck. It felt really weird. I have a bad feeling about it..

In 2010.. I wanna feel alive again. And when December comes.. I wanna feel different. I wanna feel alive! I dunno what's the cause of this doll thingy though..

Targets in 2010...
I think nothing much.
# Be an LM junior dancer
# I'd spend 10% of money I got in church every week. I need to give it back to Him.
# Spend more time with friends
# Being a better guy
# Learn everything I can learn
# Being ALIVE
# Get closer to Him
# Be a better boyfriend
# Be a better son
# Stop any of my bad addictions
# Being a better student
# Stop faking in front of everyone. Just show the real me. Open up. This is why I'm hot.

So many targets..
But I really can't do this without Him, I know.
But it seems like He's so so far away..
Everytime I pray, it seems wrong.. like I'm praying nothing...
But I believe, He's hearing me.
No matter how bad I am.
No matter how stupid I am.
I dunno if I'm still worth His love..
But I will chase it.
2010..Let me change.