A Slash Open Of My Heart.. This Thing Really Bugs Me..

It's not that I want to repeat and bring back yesterday's problem.
It's just.. If I don't let it out, I might get stressed out of myself.
But last night's dream made my eyes open to things that my heart pretends to close to stop the debate yesterday.
Yesterday, event after my long talk S2 stil try to defend S2's self and said that S2 and him has no special relationships.
But still, everyone will see S2 as a boys-itchy person.
Then again, S2 told me that if I get just a talkie-talkie to X people in this world, even if it's just small talkie-talkie, it will leave the person to get pride, pride of getting close to me.
THEN WHY DID S2 give him and everybody ALL THE PRIDE?
Even when I think of them just as a fren, like he think of them as a common fren, it's strictly forbidden.
Well, that's an unclear thing to me and I don't really care now.
[I won't check on S2 again on facebook, I believe S2.]
Then again, In my heart I still wanna say it's silly to protect my friends.
You don't know them, don't need will to protect them.
Besides, if they get caught by X people, they won't really care.
Probably like me, in status just write "I HATE X PEOPLE" or just make them jokes.
We normal people won't really care, even if the truth is in X world is different.
Why different?
I think, when an X talks and flirts with normal people, and normal people get disgusted and throw them away, X people will just leave and seek for a new one.
And we don't really care if many X people think we're like them.
We're in normal side and WE DON'T REALLY CARE ABOUT WHAT'S GOING ON IN THEIR SIDE.
WE JUST KNOW THAT THEY'RE FILTHY AND STUPID PERSONS, SMART JUST IN LOOKING FOR PREY.
Maybe among my friends, I'm the only one in the gate of normal world and X world..
And they can always see me.
But my friends, they're like me just because I know this world.
OR, they're normal people, and I clearly know it.
So if X people get near them, they won't get caught and will clearly leave.
Like an example, in school my X-like friend get near O, and O told me it's a little creepy.
And they WILL do the same if an X person caught them, I'm SURE.
The thing is, since the beginning, I'm already half an X, the one ready to born if an X touches.
[And you're the one who got to touch me, and I was really grateful you're the one..]
In normal world, we won't care and just think is as a simple threat..
We won't get stressed or anything so this is a silly protection..
Even S2 won't let me accept a girl as "sbg" too..
S2 said S2's isn't jealous or anything..
But even for a girl, who X won't prey on.......
It's...........nevermind.
I don't wanna debate again.
I just wanna let it out to you, my blog.
I won't wanna hurt S2..
And I love S2 so much......
And I.......actually really want S2 to know this..That S2's minds and thought, X people's mind and thought, different from Normal people.
And when I want S2 to be with me and leave the X world..
I meant I wanna take S2 aside from their style of mind and thought.
But I can't seem to let this one out in front of S2.
I know all this paragraph I wrote will be useless and stupid..
S2 will still see this from that side..without seeing from my friends side, from the normal side.
And S2 always told me.. "Please try to see from my side of problem.."
If S2 wants me to learn that ability..
I think I know why I can't do it right.
Cuz S2 won't give me the example in this thing..
I don't want S2 to read this..
And if S2 reads this, I don't really want another hard debate..
I just want S2 to know that my friends doesn't need protections..
They're fully normal, not a half like me. I know them.
And they won't get hurt by X people cuz they will ignore them.
Protecting.....it's kinda silly.
Sorry..
I'm not stressed or anything, it's just bugs me a lot if I don't let this out to anyone or anything.
Even I can't and don't wanna read this post from the beginning..I'm scared.
Please don't get mad or anything. I love u..