I Have My Heavenly Father.

Hi everyone! Long time no posts, huh? There's been some busy weeks back there.. Well, guess I'm back, huh? :p

First of all, almost 70% of my life has changed. Well, first I got a chance to leave that person, and then I finally left. Blocked on Facebook, Twitter, and everything. Long story short, we're fully apart. Well, it seems like I broke my promise but y'know, I'm just keeping it down for a while. I am chasing a normal life, and in order to do that, I must forget the memories completely for a while, focus on the other things, and after the rehab is over, I will come back. Then, it wouldn't be the wrong way. Well, I think I'm wrong for leaving you. But you know, if you're down and you need someone, I'll surely come. I'll be there. :)

Then, I fell into some temptations, again. But just then again, I feel so sick of it, and I promise and I WILL leave them. Now, I am focusing on chasing what's in the front. I won't bother with the past. I have HIM, my Heavenly Father. It's a not-very-long story actually. I have a friend, he has a vision gift from Him. He can see angels and devils and people's memories and feelings and so? He told me everything. And he told me what he saw. Well, he already knew about my terrible past. When my other bestfriend told him, "Rere had a dark past", his gift made him see a "thing" or two. Then I was told, that I have a huge deep-wound-in-the-heart or tartaness(kepahitan in Bahasa) devil around me. That's what he saw. Then that I fell into my bad past, because I didn't get enough father figure.. Well, I had some quarrels with my worldly dad since I was a kid, but was it that bad? And he said, that tartaness cause is that I was hurt by someone I deeply love. Guess what? Yeah, you.. But calm down now, I said I'd forgive, so I do. 'Cause I love you, remember? Well, okay let's just get rid of this devil. If I keep thinking about the hurting memories, it will just make it bigger. So let's just be happy all the time, okay? Heavenly Father, I know You'll accompany me. ^^

Well, I watched Narnia and then I knew He's watching over me, taught me a lot when I was watching the movie.. And I cried and I guessed I really miss Him. I watched it twice, and my tears were always forced to come out when Eustace said something like "No matter how hard I try, I can never do It myself. Then He came to me. He changed me. It was painful, but it felt good. Just like a needle on a finger. It's painful, but it's good when it's pulled off.", and the second scene which made me wanna cry is when Lucy asked "When will we meet again?" and Aslan answered "Someday, my child." Oh God.. I guess I miss You.

Now, I occasionally search for Him since my friend from PD Team, she's younger than me, she's on 10th Grade, told me that He wants me to search for Him by praying and reading Bible a lot. I guess I should and will do it. :) I wanna share everything I feel to You, Dad. And I wanna tell everything I wanna tell. 'cause You're my Dad. My worldly dad can't give me comfort like You do, having You made my life amazing. I wouldn't have to worry about anything as long as I do what You told me to do. Thanks, Heavenly Father, Lord. :)

Well, there's a lot I wanna share about the movie Narnia: Voyage of The Dawn Trader, I will post it later on ••REI'S • MADPRINCE GUIDEBOOK•• .

Oh yeah, in case next year (2011) you find no more updates on this blog, and you waited for years for it but don't find it no more (amazing), I should have been moving to this new blog of mine called 吴春馮 My Life Without Wings.. It's my officially new blog that will start on January 2011.
New year's coming. This year felt extremely fast, right? -__-
New year, new life, new blog. ^^
Well, see you around.

The Memories Will Be Just Memories.

I opened our memories, pages by pages how we know each other. How you say you love me so much that you can't live without me. How you always care for me, protect me from those beasts, and cried for me. That's sweet. ^^ But that time I made it a waste, I was so ignorant to you, and I put ego on my own feeling. For that, I'm sorry.. When I cheated on you too, it must be painfully hurts for you, I must bring a hell into your world, I'm sorry.. I feel grateful for everytime we shared, you gave me a ton lot of lessons, how to love, how to be caring, how to lead people, and life's harsh experiences. And now you're making me learn to hold on and not fall into my feeling, not letting it fall into the same mistake again, not letting my most precious wish, knowing it's bad, become reality.. It's the most important lesson for my life.. ^^ I thank you for being the vessel for it.

Now it's time to live our own life. Apart from all those sweet bits, but it's the right way and how it should be. We have to give all of our life to Him, to accept His grace. I erased almost all of the underground people from my facebook that I found, so that I will be fully free from that world. And I hope you'll leave and be free soon as well. Because I don't want you to go to the wrong way, because I really and deeply love you.. It's not right to have this feeling, and I'm gonna make it a right feeling, a more "proper" love. As we're apart, I'll find someone to replace your place, and I hope you find the right one too.

SLUIMH, so damn much..
Let's move on. :)

Trying To Be A Lot More Separated, To Be Alive.

Now I don't really bother paying any attention to those people. I wanna be alive, and how I can be is to be apart from them, the past. Just days ago, I fell in the missing feeling again and I shouldn't next time. I told myself I need them but you know what, I'm still something, even MORE without them, I can! At least that's what I believe. I'm not a doll, I'm not a robot that should get power supply from them. I'm mature enough and I should be more mature. No more thinking about the past. I'll always try to distract my mind of them. There's so much to think about other than those things. Let them be a stupid old song and later will really extinct. Besides, those people seem to be too lazy to get up, especially 3rd. Mehn, looks like that one gave up trying. I am enough of telling too, or I'm not? I can only pray for them.

Final exam today, math? I can't do much. It's a mess up! The next subjects, I don't wanna mess them up. Okay, banzai!! I don't wanna be lazy like this, c'mon get up man! But it's hard to ;p

Today I hung out at PTC with Yoko, Bobby, Grego, Jose, and Atin. We watched HP 7 Part 1. It was so great and epic! I met a lot of friends at PTC. As well as that blabbermouth guy. And he's starting to create a lie that I hate again today.. God, please give me wisdom and patience to talk with this guy. I mean, mehn he's like lying over every single things! How I hate it. I should talk wisely to him. He should be made realize the right things, really. Let everything be as good as ever.. I actually never wanna take care of this thing again, but mehn, I feel sorry for my friend.

Okay, that's all I wanna share. Adios :)

A Man of Covenant.

Last nite I hung out wif 3rd. I lied to my mom about going with a guy named "Stanley" to "Jesslyn" 's birthday party. Mehn I actually din need to lie, but the condition forced me to! Stupid me, then I regret it all along. We got something to eat and went to TP. And something's been bothering me along, and mostly after I got home. It's something hidden that I don't know, and now I don't really wanna know at all. :/ Bad community breaks good habit. That's what I got from Ce Cory this morning. It's a blessing :) This morning I felt so bad and I already admit to my mom that I lied last night. I feel like I'm an anti-lie now..haha Then my mom told me next time we should go out at least with another one person along. Okay I think she's right for my own sake.

This day I am blessed by the words Ria shared in the morning. OMG today's full of blessing. After school there's a PD Team meeting and we prayed, we sang, and God's presence were really there even though there's only 8 of us! God, You're amazing..

This is a generation where satan makes recruitment, and God as well. God only asks of who WANTS to join Him. To be His knights, His heroes. God, let me join.. Come on people, Indonesia will be the place to begin this movement as the prophecies said! A huge wave of healing throughout the world will start from Indonesia, and every major Christian people is praying for our country. Let's make that prophecy happen.. Let's fight the evil! Come on guys, there's no time for you to still be in the comfort zone. Prepare to fight, for His Glory!

HEART SPEAKS FIRST by Travis Garland

This is a realy nice song.. So romantic like dang..



Standing on the other side of the road
With a tear in your eyes
Wishin' that I didn't act the way I do
I took it too far this time
I was filled with emotion
Instead of giving you space
I threw it in your face, and now
You just wanted me closer
But I pushed you away

I made you scream
I made you cry
I shouldn't have taken the stars from your sky
We're still a team
As much as it hurts
Remember that they're only words
My heart speaks first
So baby whenever it hurts
Remember that they're only words
My heart speaks first

It's hard for me to function when I know you're sad
Like a robot in rain
And even though the hurts we feel was all my bad
It still drives me insane (It's making me crazy)
Do you know that I love you
That I need you to be there
Like a table needs chairs, my love
After all that we've been through
Please don't let it all slip away

I made you scream
I made you cry
I shouldn't have taken the stars from your sky
We're still a team
As much as it hurts
Remember that they're only words
My heart speaks first
So baby whenever it hurts
Remember that they're only words
My heart speaks first

And it's telling me to
And it's telling me to love you
Love you

And it's telling me to
And it's telling me to love you
Love you

(Telling me to love)
I made you scream
I made you cry
I shouldn't have taken the stars from your sky
We're still a team
As much as it hurts
Remember that they're only words
My heart speaks first
So baby whenever it hurts
Remember that they're only words

Remember that they're only words
My heart speaks first..

AOG Crew, Evolutioning.

On Saturday I went to PTC and met up with GPS but only me, Atin, MP, Andrew, Devina (+Yoko +Bobby) and we chatted about Ko Musa's birthday the following day. It was so fun to be with these guys.. We're like crazy everytime we're together. Haha

Then when the night came AOG Crew guys arrived and we talked about real business. About the future AOG Crew. Then I thought like, amazing! A lot of changes will occur.. So people, wait for the new us! >:)



Yesterday we came to Studio GHP and hid at Tresor Building. The plan's a bit messed up cuz Ko Musa, like usual, cancelled the practice all of a sudden in spite of fact that we're there full team. (+ Devina Popcorn Crew, actually.) But he then actually came and we're glad to see his smile. It's fun.

Have a blast, Ko Moeza Limantoyo Minute!


Okay I'm now busied with PenSi, SNA School, and Jesjos's Sweet 17, as well as upcoming Della Hunara Sweet 17th. Let's manage time well, because UAS is on the line too >___< God, please help me do them well.. I'm trying to change and keep learning and learning to become a great streetdancer. Really, I have to maximize this potential! AOG Crew..Nah, the upcoming new crew of mine..haha.. 3 Months again or so, we will give you a BLAST.. Each one of us. >:)

Now I can feel calm, because you can stand and try to fight them. Jiayou! I will support you :)

Chasing my normal LIFE~!

Oh yeah.
Today I found another copycat. It's when I open his profile that I found my text there, 100% same! Oh God, it's a simple text, but he copied it. He's older than me. Mehn, you're a joke copying from kids. Haha.. Well, what I think is.. When people copy you, they think you're cooler. And it means, you're steps forward from them. Just relax. Haha.. Copycats, get creative please. For your own sake.

This Is A BIG day.

---------------------------~~~*
Okay, so much VITAL things has happened in my life since the last time I udpated this blog.
My life has changed so much after the Mighty Men Camp and the PD Team fellowship.
I opened my ace card to my parents. I'm letting my Lord sit in my comfort zone, and letting myself kneel on the floor, because my life is not for me, but for Him.
I'll do my best to give all of me for Him.
---------------------------~~~*

After 2 months of crazy and harsh practice, this day finally came.. SATOE.
The day we, GPS, PopCrown, Interlude Dance Academy, and LMSC will perform on the stage of Petra 1's auditorium. It's a huge day for us.
We'll dance to show Indonesia that we should be ONE! United with difference.

Along the practice, it's hard. It's tiring, we gave A LOT of sacrifices.
But along the road, we met new friends, funny moments, and laughter.
We thank God for He has made us ONE.

We'll dance, we'll give our best on the stage.
No holding back. We'll DANCE FOR SATOE!
B-FABS, let's give it all back to Jesus.
For SATOE, for INDONESIA, for our LORD.


KAMI DISINI,
SATOE
OENTOEK
INDONESIA

I REMEMBER by Keyshia Cole

Oh..
Remember..
Oh, I remember..
I wanna know..

Where were you when I said I loved you?
And where were you when I cried at night?
Waiting up, couldn't sleep without you..
Thinking of all the times we shared..

[Chorus:]
I remember when my heart broke..
I remember when I gave up loving you..
My heart couldn't take no more of you..
I was sad and lonely..
I remember when I walked out..
I remember when I screamed I hated you..
But somehow deep inside still loving you..
Sad and lonely..

No one knew all the pain I went through..
All the love I saved deep in my heart for you..
Didn't know where I would go, where I would be..
But you made me leave..
And plus my heart it just, it just kept telling me so..

[Chorus]

[Bridge:]
There was nowhere else to go, oh..
Nobody else to turn to, no..
For the rest of my life, I promised myself I will love me first genuinely..

[Chorus]

I remember when I walked out..
I remember when I gave up loving you..
My heart couldn't take no more of you..
So sad and lonely, hey..
I remember when I stormed out..
I remember when I gave up loving you..
I was sad and lonely..

It's Holiday.

This is the first day of the Lebaran Holiday. This far, I haven't feel the holiday feeling, I'm still downed by the UTS schedule. I don't understand termokimia at all, and my physics and math are messed up! Arggh.. I wanna scream to those teachers.

I'm learning sexy hip hop now. I download sexy hip hop beats a lot and try to learn much vocab and  the soul. Busy at allstar for pagelaran and creating a concept for Pensi Petra 5 2010. Let's rock the shows. :) I wanna learn hip hop and won't stop.. Get better and better! God please help me to learn humbly..

I get bad mood easily these days. Mostly from my family and school. Narrggh I need to break free from everything.

Some Things I Haven't Tell.

After my birthday, on Saturday the O-O-O-O Crew performed at Pam2's Sweet 17. Twice. 1st on the opening with the O-O-O-O concept (which we already used a thousand times..haha) and the second before disco time, the HO-HO-HO-HO concept (a new concept I made with the help of my friends). It's really fun dancing there, mostly when we do the second dance. We put the Keong Racun music inside the concept and it was fresh and fun. I felt so excited and amused with my own concept. Really, I should create more for the Pensi :)
After the dance, we went to disco time and we went all crazy and wild. There's PD Team seniors there but I don't wanna be two faced so I did all the sexy dance. And after the disco time we knew that Garry's Blackberry Bold lost.. Felt sorry for him.

Last Saturday, 4th September there was a freestyle community like the 7 To Smoke at Singapore. They carried it out at Mr Child Cafe, 3rd floor PTC every Saturday(i think). AOG Crew went there with Bella, Devina, Grego. And AOG + Grego joined the hip hop freestyle session. There were many b-boy than hip hop dancers so the hip hop-ers were only us, Grego, Koko Takupaz, and the one named Kevin. Then I rushed things like usual and got tired fast. It was a big mistake and a bad habit for me. Erick is cool as usual with his soul, instinct and a lot of vocabs. Gosh I must find my vocab a lot too. Then the session ended with me battling Erick and Erick as the winner and he got power balance band. At the end, I started to relax a little, but my vocab still wasn't going. So now I must start to take everything to be a vocab. And take soul and the flow when freestyling. Let's learn and practice more. :)

The Most Amazing Birthday Of My Life This Far.

This day was so special starting from a special surprise from El'Cief (My Class, the Eleven Science Four). Suddenly on the subject Arts, the lights were turned off. And Lui, with the teacher and those guys pretended to show some interior designs example, considering what we were learning. Then suddenly the studs on the back told me to look front. Then a video was played. It was an astonishing, meaningful, precious, and amazing video of me. Lui made it so nostalgic and it almost made me cry!! Aaaaa.. It showed the photos of me. How I love dance, how I love fashion, how I value my friends and family.. Then they gave me a box to open. I opened it and it was a cake made out of paper with "16" on it. Then Onel gave me a wallet. And they forced me to do a 4 minutes freestyle and so I did! Narrgh.. Crazy guys!! Thanks a lot guys, you're the best! It made the day my most awesome birthday.. :) Then Priska made a t-shirt for me to wear..made out of Matahari's plastic bag. And the hair accessory oso. And everyone signed on it.. It's like a MOS for me. I must wear it till school ends. Hahaha..When the second break came, Indra suggested me to stay in the class and suddenly after some minutes he turned the lights off. Huruhara Family came (excluding the OSIS members) and gave me a birthday tart with candles. Ooh it was so romantic hahaha.. Thanks a lot, Huruhara!!! Love ya freaks!!
Then after the break, suddenly Lui, Andre and the others closed my eyes tight wif Lui's jacket. And they walked me all around the school like crazy! They even tricked me like they told me to pose for a photoshoot, when I was facing a wall! Yet I did it innocently. Crazy dudes.. Hahaa.. Then after a really long trip (Meanwhile that time, I always wish to open my eyes. It's dark and not fun. Haha..) they brought me to the computer class, where we actually have to be in and after they pulled of the jacket I can see slowly waiting for the lights to cover my eyes and there's a pan of pizza with candles in front of me.. God it's so sweet. I really never have expected a birthday like this for me.. When I think about it again it's triple times amazing! THANKS EVERYONE!

Then the evening came and I went to Sutos with a package(Virgin said it's the way to say "set of wearings") of a red shirt, my new gray vest, and my white pants. The dinner was on My Kopi Cafe, a new cafe set up in front of Tator. At the beginning of the dinner, Ichel suddenly told me that she, Erick, and Juju couldn't come 'cuz they're so tired and things after the practice. Then I ask about Chachia, about her being the only AOG member inside my Huruhara friends. Then the conversation ends with her saying "Seneng2o mbe KONCO YEL2MU!" and then I got pissed and asked her blindly "Opoo tulisane mbo gedeno?" Then she answered about whatever and I said "gpp kok" and I got mad. Then my mom asked and I told her about everything and she told me not to get pissed so easily cuz it might be a prank. And Chachia too, told me she's gone shopping with her mom. Oh God! Then Ichel n Juju's status was about them three going to PTC and watch movies and I started to feel weird. Then HuruHara came and they told me it might be a prank and in the middle of the dinner.. Juju's loud scream "HAPPY BIRTHDAY RERE!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY RERE!!" made me laugh. AOG Crew came with Patty(who told me she couldn't come because of a lesson -_-), Tante Cindy, Ivan, Tante Siany, Gio, Hans. Huahaha.. They really made the Kopi Cafe shocked. Then I knew that my mom's actually the one who's been coordinating this creep. Haha! Then we dined and took photos.. And the day ended.

It's nice to have people who loves you! Love them and they'll love you back :)

Thanks a lot mom, thanks dad, thanks El' Cief, thanks Huruhara Family, thanks AOG Crew.. :)

Dance, Dance, Dance! Oh Boy.

Normal life isn't really that plain boring and isn't that hard, Thank God :)
I got busied with school. And dance too.

There was going to be a competition in school. We practiced (Me, Lia, Sydney, Xin", Kezia) but then it was cancelled. So I arranged a dance club for our school, and we're gonna practice every Monday. It's not an official club, just a club we created for high school competitions.

I accepted a job from Virgin to remix a music for her group's school assignment. I was in a hard time at first, but thank God I did it. And I have to re-remix it with traditional music. I dunno if I am gonna teach them or not. I enjoy this job :)

Last Thursday was a big day for me. There's no events, only AOG Crew practice. I was totally anxious and crazy before the practice. Vivi din attend the practice. So I didn't have an anxious friend with me! Then I was really nervous to do freestyle in front of AOG, as usual. But that time, I really wanted to fight that feeling, cuz if I keep being like that, when will it ends? So I fight that feeling. Physics exercise with Devina, then freestyle session. I tried and gave my best and I din really nervous. Thank God I could overcome it!! It's really a big step for me! But there's no Juju and Ichel so we oughta try and see later.. I hope I'll keep being better and better! :)

I was picked to be in the Allstar reguler for pagelaran.. Thank God!! I must give my best!! >:)

Last night was Chel's sweet 17. I became a polo with the Huruhara Family excluding Sydney and Patty. I paired with Lia, Killa-Indra, Ikegh-Iyus, Yoan-Trio, Bunga-Berto, Codot-Bapet, Aenx-Nyoman. We practiced for only two days, and we danced in the party. It was fun and elegant. I like ballroom dancing,, It was my first time, though. TTP performed here.. Two teams. Then the disco time gone crazy with people getting thrown into the pool. Garry, Chel, Lia, Pian, ME!, and Trio. It was fun though.. Hahaha :D I really enjoy the party. The foods, the friends, the dance. Happy Super Sweet 17th Birthday, Chel ^^

This afternoon I did the Exam for Beginner level in G-Center. There's only 15 studs. It's a remidial since me and Lia didn't attend the Exam in PTC. Well, I hope we gave our best. Intermediate waiting! :)

Pam-pam's sweet 17 job waiting.. Let's cheer the crowds again ^^

The Huruhara Family.

DBL's over. There's a lot of precious experiences, along with the fun moments. It's really a grace how we advanced 'till Big Five. Our hard work is not a meaningless hard work too. We're proud to take Petra 5's name this far, We won't want Petra 5 to be taken easy by the other school. As well as for our boys and girls basketball team. They played amazing enough. Well, this year we count on Him in everyday.. I hope it's not only for the DBL period but oso 'till the end of our lives.

The most unbelievable moment is the girl's basketball match Vs. SMAN (2 or 1, I forgot). There's 3 seconds left to the end of the match, and we'd lose to them. (The score was about 19-17)> Then God made that 3 second (even half a second accurately) precious when Lauren did a winning three-point shot. And God shows us, how valuable time is, Even half a second is extremetely valuable. :)

For our yel-yel team, The Huruhara Family.. We did a lot of breakthroughs and surprises.
When we battled with CH, we were mentally down the day before. We were afraid of Juju and Ichel (Especially me, considering I lack of self-confidence everytime I freestyled with them). They're cool as usual. But in the end, we overcame it and danced well. The cheers of the crowd made us forgot that minder feeling.
And then we actually got to Top Ten. Our girl's b-ball team lost to CH, which made them stop at Supersweet Sixteen. Then our hope was only the boys b-ball team, and our Huruhara Family.
The day before the boy's match with Sinlui at Big Eight, it feels like a huge WAR. The whole school was prompted to support. School created a team of like, yel-yel leaders to be firing up the passion of everyone in supporting the team the day after. I BM and smsed all PETRA students and alumni (I said PETRA, cuz the team's the only winning team from all Petra..) to support in presence or in prayer, and told them to forward that message as well as praying at 9 o' clock, like our basketball and yel-yel team always did.. I was really fired up and it seems like a real war.
Then, the day came. We prayed and prepared like crazy. We knew everyone says that we won't win to Sinlui. And even every of our friends outside Petra supports Sinlui.. Well, I think we won't know unless we tried. Then again, it can be different if you want to. I told everyone NOT to trust and to lose to prediction, our GOD is bigger than predictions. Then the time came. 6' o clock.
1st period, we were 3 scores above them. We smiled and then, the second period made us startled. How Sinlui beat us extremely.. Then it's Huruhara's time to settle. We were going to make Sinlui see what we got. Then the battle started. Sinlui's girls provoked our team and it made our team members got pissed and forgot to control their emotions. Fell into provokes, we finally could only bust three sets of 4. I din get the chance to go freestyle there. The heated arena made us forgot that we should get back to our sides. Then when we were in our side already, the Sinlui girls kept provoking us and I finally got pissed too. We threat them but they can only imitate. Everyone saw that moment of fight and Lauren and the other girls told us to stop. We fought like kids there. And finally Trio and Ikegh told the DBL officer to warn them cuz they stood inside the basketball arena, which is a harm to DBL's rules. The officers can only stood like nothing, but they warned us back there! Or they changed the rules in days? What a joke. Then we kept fighting with Sinlui from the sides.. And the b-ball match ended with Sinlui winning. I was hoping miracles to happen in the last period like they did for the girls but they didn't. But we know God has a purpose, and a greater plan for us. :) So we didn't cry there.. But I was still crazily pissed off in home.
Along 'till Saturday, we felt like we wanna settle things with Sinlui. Then Trio told me that Sinlui's boys (the girl's boyfriends) were going to challenge us to a battle. Here, "us" means me, Trio, Lia. But it's actually not dance battle.. But real fight. Crazy them, whatever they'd do we don't care cuz it's at their own risk. But the family told us not to walk around alone since it's risky so we did. That day, we din dance with our best. We were tired and some of us had their own problems. We thought we din get the chance to get to Big Five but we did! We cried cuz we never thought we'd be getting this far.. And we reconciled with Sinlui girls. So there were us, Sinlui, Fratz, Stag, and SMAN 1.
The last day, the day of Big Five, we danced with new concepts. jabba masks that we added since Top Ten, a gay concept of Gary and Trio which made people laugh and we got the passion, locking, and a puppet concept. Wowie, we danced really enjoyfully.. We were happy to the max, we gave the real best :) Then we din care if we'd advance to Best Three or not.. And we really din advance to Best Three. I was disappointed of a team that entered Best Three in spite of the fact that everyone said they're plain boring.. But whatever, we're a champ enough :) For Fratz, they're cool as usual, crazy solidarity, and crazy jokes.. They're really worth being a champion as they did! Basketball, girls and boys, and the yel-yel team became a champion in DBL 2010. Wowie, they're amazing!

So we're back to our normal lives as a student which is..boring and made us sad cuz we din get the chance to be together everyday and besides, we have to follow school lessons which we skipped alot! Dang, hardwork needed.. Haha..

A song that we sang after the Top Ten and Big Five.. A grattitude for Him who gave us everything..

Terima kasih Tuhan, untuk kasih setiaMu
Yang kualami dalam hidupku
Terima kasih Yesus untuk kebaikanMu
Sepanjang hidupku

T'rima kasih Yesusku
Buat anugerah yang kau bri
S'bab hari ini Tuhan adakan
Syukur bagiMu

No more practices, no more makeups.. But still a FAMILY. :)
Huru....HARA HARA HARA!! Rawwr~! >:)

DBL's Long Period.

I'm extremetely busied with DBL these days. It took almost everyday so I skipped class a lot. I try to keep up slowly with the lessons. Then I must do secretary's job too. Arggh.. Guess what. Next Wednesday will be my first chemical test and I don't really understand a thing about it! Aaaaa... For next Tuesday will be math but it's not that hard. I must try to balance my schedule. Whew..

DBL is so fun. Like, everyday we skip class and do makeups (I'm so pretty you know) then we eat, we practiced. Then we went to the arena, danced, then got a free juicy Isotonic drink. Wowie, a period of relaxing.. Haha.. Petra 5 always give the best and we have our God, so the basketball team, both boys and girls team will enter the playoff ^^ Jiayou, Petra 5!

Now my dance life is so full. Starting on August, Tuesday will be the day of dance extracurricular. Wednesday will be AOG Crew's practice. Thursday will be G-Center's regular class. Friday will be ELS - Modern Dance schedule. Mehn how dance is my life. Haha.. I must practice more and more :)

I haven't do workouts again in 3 days T_T I'll do it tonight! I musn't go lazy like this.. For a nice body! Haha..

Sometimes my interest is taken by them. It's hard to resist.. Even the memories and dreams still plays in mind.

I need to value my dad. My family. I must be a better boy.

I get kinda confused where will Hotel Management take me #_#

Haha.. Overall, it's a regularly flowing week..

Sorry.

- Simple from me.

3 Days of MOS
Each PD Team member was prompted to lead one small team to a sharing. I lead a team with 4 guys and 1 girl including Andy in it. Then I told them everything I'm feeling. And how we should chase God's presence though it feels far far away. And how we should avoid porn (I asked for the girl's permission to say this..to the boys.). Then about death.. About every sin is equal whipping God once. How we should maximize our potentials.. Well, just about everything I wanna share to them.
Then our old team, Lia, Me, Garry, and Killa performed again in MOS's closing. Old concept, same joy ^^
I think I'll join PD Team again this year. Oh yeah, they're opening ELS (Excellent Life Skill), that's a program that maximizes our talents. But for XI grades there are only DKV. Dance (which will be taught by LM) is only for X graders! Mehn how I should go and protest. I hope there will still be extracurriculars beside ELS.

School Starts.
There's a guy named Alkent in my class who just moved from Petra 1. I started to sksd to him like I did to Onel and just about everyone. (What the Heaven, why am I always so embarrassing -_-) He knows Erick as well. Okay, nice. Our class is decent enough. It's nice lah. :)

DBL Coming
Yel2 DBL Team will get busy next week. Full of perform schedules. I hope this year we can enter at least Big 5. This year must be different. :) The new generation of HipHop Dancers in Petra 5.

Keep Up With The Subjects
I'm a really busy student and then I must ask my friend a lot if I leave the class a lot.

Strong Bad Puller
I won't be coming back to the underground. I'm a Prince. Let's just try and stop thinking about every thoughts of it..

Workouts
I really must do it regularly.

I think that's all the update I wanna make.
I'm tired. :(

Headbang.

These days my head goes dizzy. I think I didn't sleep regularly. I must do so when school starts. Besides, my eyes got darker. I'm a guy with low blood pressure, so I can't rush and overdo things.

Last week and the week before was full of practice for Yel2 DBL. I got mad at our tutor's behavior of always coming late. I told the leader of this year's Yel2 DBL Team about that but then he told me I could practice before the tutor come, and it brings this up: I'm not a good vice-leader in the team. Yeah that's right. So the next days we both said sorry and I hope I can be a better vice-leader for them.

I entered my new class and it was like whoosh~ I just have Onel, Halim, and Lui. The others aren't so close with me. Maybe Andre, Andrew and Rafael :) But the others.. Awwh I must befriend them one by one.. The class teacher appointed me secretary of the class so I must go to her everyday and do this and that. Gadzook I just entered a science class and here's a pile of jobs for me -_- Well, let's only try to do the best :)

I listen to a lot of groovy songs these days. I think I'll move from krump to lyrical hiphop or groove but I must still learn a ton then.. I still can't do souling as well as Chachia or Erick. But now I'm learning to. Damn, groove songs are nice.

Last night someone from the underground world popped and said a thing reminding me about my past and I was about to yell and spit all the bad words in mind. But then that one said sorry and then we shared things. Damn, last night will be the last time I speak of those sinful memories. Well, I wanna help ones who wants to break free like me. But if they can't stop or still haven't get the strong will to, better buzz off me cuz the ppl from that underground world is about all liars and they can't stop the addiction.
Well, maybe they seem good sometimes but who knows what's behind. I'm tired of trusting people, especially their kind.

I hope everyone just says everything that's really in their mind to me. How I hate finding out lies and stabs behind my back. My girl friend said to me: "People stabs and lie to you behind your back because they're retarded. They are ways behind you. So why care about low people's bad talks? Just move on." That's a snap, sweety. :)

I hope everyone just DON'T ever lie to me.
DON'T ever talk differently between mouth and mind.
DON'T ever stab me behind my back.
DON'T ever be over melancholy with me.

Value Time. Now Is Now, The Past Is The Past..

Today.. I hope it didn't mean I broke the ritual.

Three days ago when I went to Platinum Grill and almost all of the waiters were lengzai gege and lengzai jiejie.. I can't help but to get bloodly inspired! There's a really cool and calm gege and I wanna be a waiter like him. (What a silly dream!! Hahahaha) But seriously, I've been dreaming of being a waiter in a classy restaurant one day when I'm in university. So the thing and target in my mind now is.. I WANNA ENTER HOTEL MANAGEMENT AND BECOME AN ELEGENT AND CHARMING WAITER :D
Wkwkwk..

There's these thoughts.. That I wasted time too much. I overthink and overstressed about my problems, especially the past and about self-control.. And I'm forgetting how I should be enjoying my high school life! Everyone says high school period is the best period in life, so I have to surf in the fun.. I must focus on school friends too ^^ and dance as well but not that crazy.. I have to live my life. Back to the Rei who cares about fashion and looks ^^

Well, so now I'm entering a new class. Which means I should make new friends, a lot of them :) I hope they're nice guys in there.. Hahaha..

Let's forget the past. Let's move on.
Value time, and enjoy highschool life.
Focus and target: Hotel Management!
I can't wait to be a nice and charming waiter gege!!

My Own Ritual.

At Bali there's so much memories. I did my own ritual at the beach, the releasal. And suddenly I got this thought of death. Someday, I will experience death. And that's scary.. I'm afraid if it comes suddenly. So I started to think, why not be a real good boy? But how to get closer to God? I think I just have to have a strong self control.. And that's that. I'm struggling to be a good boy now :)

I bought so many items and I really love the hangout at Legian and Seminyak. I went to nightclubs as well. That was my first time. Haha.. I went to Bounty, Mbargo, and Engine Room right in the night after the ritual. My sis has her friend named Sarah, who is a dancer there in those three clubs. These 3 clubs are in one company. So Sarah is this nice girl, don't always think sexy dancers are bad girls. In the nightclubs I saw all of people having fun.. I wanna join in but it's corny without my friends so I din dance at all. But watching them just makes me smile. :)

I wanna hangout with my friends someday to Bali.. And have fun alot ^^ I just love wearing beach surf styles. :)

Now You See Me.

Yesterday was a day of hangout with AOG Crew and Miss_B. It's so fun and we came to a sharing part where I cried my whole tears when I opened my ace card to them. It was so shocking myself that I told them that time. I never thought I'd told them that early. Even when we arrived, I told Ichel I'll tell her something someday. That someday is that day.. Well, now you see me. The real rei. You see my flaw. That I am NOT any good or any perfect. Well now, let's walk on the way they want me to walk on.. I trust my crew, and I will keep moving with God beside them.

Today I practiced for Yel2 DBL with Fanny and Pian but I din feel my body to the max. It feels heavy and my body moves aren't flowing. I don't know why but I feel like resting from dance for the rest of my holiday. My body and mental is too tired.

I had my haircut twice, yesterday and today. Yesterday at Poppy Yenny where Erick cut his hair. But it's messed up so I made some more shaggy on the pony this evening. Funny hair, I hope it grows fast -_-

Today I opened the photos in my friendster profile and I was like "Wow. Is this me?" It's really different. Haha.. And in facebook I opened the profiles of the people in my past. It brings back some memories. And I really wanna say to everyone who made fun of me and the ones who smacked me mentally: "Look. I'm not who I used to be. I'm not that Rei you always laugh at. Now I'm movin' up and I fly. Really not on your level! :)"

Tomorrow I'll go to Bali. Let's just have fun :) Last time I went to Bali was two years ago. How I miss that crazy place. Bali I'm comin'... Yo let's do da thang~

Holla, Holiday.

Walking without looking back too much.

Last week AOG Crew practices with just me, Erick, and Chachia. It's fun just the three of us. We'll joke and laugh along the practice. Well, we're bonding closer :) Then we compete on Saturday where I wasn't a professional dancer. I was an emotional dancer. Even when I danced, I thought of what expression I should make up. Damn, it's such a bad dance. Erick and Chachia danced with real joy. In the night, I was sad and in the next day, where I should dance again, I was angry in the car, then my dad exploded in the morning and I was like, "This isn't my dad! This isn't my family! I'd rather be outside home!".. Yeah, that's what I thought all this time and that's just what I always think. Then my dad knew that I had bitterness from my mom and dad. And I don't really know if it's right. All I know is, I always can't fit in with my dad. But now, I have to really control my emotion. They're my parents, I have to be a real kid.
In the night, I danced with real joy, Chachia and Erick told me they enjoyed it better yesterday but blah, I made up for them this day. Maybe in the beginning, there's a little "distraction" like yesterday, and yeah, my emotion was a little bit fired up but whatever, I wanna dance here, that's my purpose of being on the stage. And I'm a professional dancer as I should be :)
After the dance, I went home and when I was about to sleep I read a disappointing statement and gosh.. Good thing I din hope too much. I think she's with another and let's just forget. Good thing I din put all my damn feelings.. And now let's just focus on dance and school. I wanna be a great hiphop dancer. I wanna be an good highschooler. Love just makes me weak. Hip Hop helps building me stronger. :)

Today I practiced for DBL Yel-yel and my left back muscle got screwed and it's hurt to move. Oh well, now I got weird muscles and don't forget the blurry eyes. Aaaaaaargh... Heal, heal, heal!
In the practice Pian told me that he saw that I'm not all out in my dance with AOG, like I'm minder of the others. I think no, but there's actually a little piece in my mind saying so. :/

What I really want now is to cut my hair (My sis told me to cut like Alan Luo, and I said yes. But I want the front hair to go down, like what it used to be.), then I wanna buy Supra or NikeAir shoes (I don't want it to be full white, but Erick told me it's dancer's but still, I want it to be mixed with another color -_-). I wanna learn sexy hiphop too! It's fun, you know. I think I have the soul.. Haha

24-29 June I'll go to Bali for a holiday. I hope it's fun with those siblings. Sometimes I don't fit in with them. Holla, Holiday :)

Everything Changes.

Separate ways, hopefully without the emptiness of sound.
I hope to hear much, yet it couldn't possibly that much.
Even maybe nothing..
Thousands of sorry. Thousands of thanks.
Now the role is to cover.
It's harsh and painful, but it has to be like this.
Maybe they're bad, but the memories will stay beautiful.
There's no regret, there's no hate anymore.
Time just flows to fast..
Bringing shocking things that changes everything.
From now on, it'll be different..
I hope I can stand firm.
Masking this tearful face..
Let's just be a robot.
A hiphop robot.

Sorry to forget, thank you for what I get..

VANILLA TWILIGHT by Owl City

The stars lean down to kiss you
And I lie awake and miss you
Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere

‘Cause I’ll doze off safe and soundly
But I’ll miss your arms around me
I’d send a postcard to you, dear
‘Cause I wish you were here

I’ll watch the night turn light-blue
But it’s not the same without you
Because it takes two to whisper quietly

The silence isn’t so bad
‘Til I look at my hands and feel sad
‘Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly

I’ll find repose in new ways
Though I haven’t slept in two days
‘Cause cold nostalgia
Chills me to the bone

But drenched in vanilla twilight
I’ll sit on the front porch all night
Waist-deep in thought because
When I think of you I don’t feel so alone

I don’t feel so alone, I don’t feel so alone

As many times as I blink
I’ll think of you tonight
I’ll think of you tonight

When violet eyes get brighter
And heavy wings grow lighter
I’ll taste the sky and feel alive again

And I’ll forget the world that I knew
But I swear I won’t forget you
Oh, if my voice could reach
Back through the past
I’d whisper in your ear
Oh darling, I wish you were here..

Changes, Horrible Past, and Now..

AOG Crew. This is my crew where I belong. I've just been here for only 5 months but look, many changes happened. Many unfortunate things happened since I entered. Changes here, changes there.. Now AOG Crew is an independent crew. Now there are new member, who was actually an ex-member of AOG Crew. Now we have seven personals. We have some crazy troubles back then but it's over now.
Not only those things occured.
Five of us ; Accel, Flat, Innocent, Robopop, and MadPrince.. We're the ones who had been in that crazy atmosphere. Then Miss_B bond us again. We know our minus sides and we'll change it. For me, I lack of confidence to dance with them.. And I know now that's why people say I'm not good enough to be with them. But now, everything will change, from every one of us. We shared our bad stories about everything, our past, our troubles, our family.. And that's when I started to feel that I actually love them.. I love each one of them. I wanna be better and better for them.. I don't want them to be sad. (Actually it's kinda cute that when they're sad I pat their head.) I wanna act like a little brother, big brother, best friends, and everything for them.

In Bust A Move Dance Competition, first round, we don't know why, but we sure dance in a mess. Position and blocking mess, details mess, and what's worse, we even forgot the moves considering it's actually an old concept that we used several times! Miss_B told us we're bad, really bad and that we din dance with one heart. It seems like we danced for ourselves, not for our crew. And she gave us alot of stories about LMSC's experiences and that we should learn alot from them. Yeah, I want us to be a better and better crew, even really nice enough to beat those senior crews! Then Miss_B told us that character is 1st, 2nd is skill. And she told us she knows every of our badness and that she'll take each one of us to walk with her, one by one, someday to share and to change our character. When it's my turn, I hope she knows everything even about my horrible truth.. ^^ And then I hope I'll change to be a better and better dancer.
The second round, we really enjoyed our dance, and I felt I was more detail too. I danced with heart, and they felt the same way too. ..
"Narine enak y td!" "Uenak pooll.. :)" "Iya uenak :D" ..
How I love them. :)
Then Miss_B told me a thing that really makes me smile. It really makes me wanna grow more and more. She told me that I have proven to them, that I'm not just making AOG worse.. ^^ Thanks to God, efforts are not worthless in His eyes. Thank You, Lord. I hope I can be a better and better streetdancer for You, AOG Crew, and for little rei.

Now we're one family. When I can't stop being care to them. I just have to be confident and confident and hold the faith that we'll be a better and better crew. Maybe now it's hard for us to grab a 1st place but just wait, we'll try to change our character first and be a better and better streetdancer, crew, and family.

Well, practices waiting! This Wednesday will be the 1st day of 7 members practice! It'll get fun and crazy! Hope Kak Sem will be more patient.. Hahaha..

I LOVE YOU GUYS.. I LOVE AOG CREW! :)

Harsh And Wicked Streetdance World..

On Saturday I went to Sutos and it's crowded with a hell lot of streetdancers, mostly from Papua. I really love their style of having those hair, black skin, oversized t-shirt, oversized baggy pants, and huge Supra shoes. It's so hip hop! Someday I'll get the look! (Not including the black skinny thing -_-) And then I met so many guys out there. I met Noph, Glad, n Sav SCRATCH. It's been a long time since the last time I hung out with them! Lhona ex-CITY WARRIOR. It's great to meet my ex-dance club friend. Danny, who's been my online friend. And a whole lot others. I stay with Garry, n the other TTP guyz. But at times I felt rather like a traitor so I went to Erick, Yeye, Cha, n the others. Then in the night Mia and the other FRIX guyz came. Meaning it's crazy mode: ON. I laughed a ton. Then after the dance competition we went to karaoke and as usual.. SEXY BITCH! Sexy dancers all over the room including me.. Hahaha.. It's hell fun to be with them. Well, I thought I have a really nice relationship with all streetdancers from dance crews in Surabaya.. They were so kind to me and I thought, "My friends must be wrong. Streetdancers are not as sneaky as they think. They have hearts and they have other world than streetdance. So why must think they're bad?" But then last night I changed my mind much.. Something reached my ear and I was really shocked.

Last night I heard something really stabs.. Some people say I only make my crew looks worse. And the one who says that is them, the guys who looks okay in front of me. They treated me really nicely, and I always see them up there, I envy and I respect them, of being some cool streetdancers whose level I must chase. I always protect their name too, in front of my friends who always told me to be aware of them.. I hardly believe they'd say something that bad about me.

Look, I know I'm still ways below you, and maybe even ways below my own crews's level. But please don't push me like that! You don't know how I struggle to dance. How I really love dance, how I searched for clubs to be entered, how I searched for places so I can practice with Miss-B. I did all of 'cause I can't live without dancing.. Then I think.. Maybe it's right, that your talent are bigger than mine since you're born. Maybe I can't even overpass Erick and the others's talent. Maybe there's a limit for me. But hear this.. I'LL BREAK THAT LIMIT. I love dance, and I won't stop dancing and dancing even if people say I can't dance. I believe, God watches effort and humility to be better and better.. I'll keep on dancing. And when you guys see me on the stage, someday, you'll accept me as a streetdancer. I hope only a little word of you guys.. "Rei is a streetdancer." I only need you to accept my existence.. And give me time to prove that I can be a good streetdancer, not an AOG Crew member who only makes them look worse on stage.

I know how B** felt when the judge at Venom Dance Competition told her she has the worst power.. And for the other streetdancers who felt this kind of sadness.. Let's have the passion and patience to learn even more. People can't judge our talent, cuz the only thing that determine we are a good streetdancer or not, is our effort and attitude :) Just wait for the time and they'll see.. That we can even be a better streetdancer than them.. Chill and relax, God appreciates humble people who doesn't say bad things about others. Streetdancers who say bad things about others is only zero.

I Must Grow.

Yesterday Lia told me there's a freestyle session for the one who wanted to try, in yesterday's regular class. I din come cuz I must study for the last exam. And Lia told me that Ko Nico told her she got her own unique style already, in her groove freestyle. Wow.. That's alot for her.. ^^ Well, hearing that, I started to look at myself. In freestyle I chestpop alot and it feels monotone, even sometimes it feels rather not fun. I din really enjoy my dance.. Well, in concept too, sometimes I still need to feel the soul of the music.
Then I heard Yeye entered LMSC. Wowie.. Yeye Minute. Congratz to him! He's a great popper :) They have their own style.. Erick is famous for his ticking, Yos" for his tutting, Yeye for his isolation, Ichel and Julia is famous of their technique, Chachia gets praised and fans for her popping. Now.. What's mine? Well my way is still a really long way to chase them.. I'll try my best. And in reguler class exams, my target is to always be in the 1st rank. I'm an AOG Crew member, I won't embarrass them. My way was so hard back there.. Seeing this I won't feel down and useless. I'll just try and I'll grow. I must get better and better. I will be a great streetdancer like what I've been dreaming when I was still a stupid and nerd rei.. Stupid rei on the 8th grade who wanted to be a streetdancer.. Haha.. Look, little rei. I won't be just an ordinary streetdancer like you dreamed. I will work it out till I become a different streetdancer, before the time is up. Just you watch and pray for me in the past.. ^^ Hehe

Insomniac-Forced To Be.

Since Sunday I've been sleeping at 2 o'clock to study harshly for the last exam. I really wanna show that I'm not actually dumb, I just couldn't manage time well back then. Now just watch my scores when the result pop out >:)
1st Day - Math : Did it really nicely
2nd Day - Physics : Really nice as well. I became logical in this test and passed it well.
3rd Day - Chemical : Did it well. Made some mistakes because of lackness in logic.
Well I did the 3 science things well. This way I hope Pak Totok who doubts that I can enter IPA bite his lips. Look, world! The "Rei" is back ^^
Well tomorrow will be the last subject of science, Biology. It's assigned with Geography tomorrow, so I'm studying a ton right now.. Huahh my mind feels so full!! Arggh.. Jiayou, rei!!
After that will be other tests out of science but I still wanna keep studying like this.. My target is to achieve scores at least above 80, all subjects.
Sunday till yesterday I've been in a call with Onel every night to study together. It's really nice since we shared our blindness and helped each other. It really helped in the tests. :) But on the second day Onel went to sleep accidentally as usual and it's like outta mind to wake a sleeping Onel so I hung up the phone and study myself even though I got blinded in some things.
After school(Except today cuz tomorrow's subject is extreme) I always practice dance with my class's dance team for the Pekan Olahraga Sekolah Dance Competition. I use a concept of hiphop and ballet. But I don't do the ballet thingy.. Hahaha.. I just teach the ballet girls how to dance hiphop. Ticking, waving.. It's like nostalgia when I first tried to learn them.. ^^
Tomorrow at least I can take a break cuz the day after will be only Economy/Accountant n English. I can relax in English more, and study Economy n Accountant the most.
Well, just keep up in every subject and ask for God's help.. ^^

Dance. There's been some problem and errors. I work with RoboPop togeher to try to fix it to the right. But things seems to get more complex.. But me and him just try to look for the best way. Let's see what's coming next and focus in the fixing of this mess after UKK.. I don't want things to get worse too. I want a comfortable and solidarity in this team.. This second family.

Love. Ignoring interests. Hell with liking. Let's just enjoy high school :)

Money. Next month seems to be promising :)

Friends. Online friends and classmates are the best for now.

Health. Not really well cuz I sleep late. I try to handle it with vitamin C, Sangobion, Milo, and HiLo Teen.

Fashion. Gosh I'm fading from this thing. Let's only wear basketball shorts and tees.. Haha

Well, gotta continue studying! Let's pray for everyone to advance to the next grade with nice scores.. Amenn :3

THE SALTWATER ROOM by Owl City

I love Owl City's musics these days. I downloaded their songs a ton and they're all good. Their music's lyrics is always poetic and deep meaning..

I opened my eyes last night
And saw you in the low light
Walking down by the bay, on the shore
Staring up at the planes that aren’t there anymore
I was feeling the night grow old
And you were looking so cold
Like an introvert, I drew my over shirt
Around my arms and began to shiver violently before
You happened to look and see the tunnels all around me
Running into the dark underground
All the subways around create a great sound
To my motion fatigue: farewell
With your ear to a seashell
You can hear the waves in underwater caves
As if you actually were inside a saltwater room

Time together isn't ever quite enough
When you and I are alone, I’ve never felt so at home
What will it take to make or break this hint of love?
We need time, only time
When we're apart, whatever are you thinking of?
If this is what I call home, why does it feel so alone?
So tell me darling, do you wish we'd fall in love?
All the time, all the time

Can you believe that the crew has gone and wouldn’t let me sign on
All my islands have sunk in the deep, so I can hardly relax or even oversleep
I feel as if I were home some nights, when we count all the ship lights
I guess I'll never know why sparrows love the snow
We’ll turn out all of the lights and set this ballroom aglow


So tell me darling, do you wish we’d fall in love?
All the time.

Time together isn't ever quite enough
When you and I are alone, I’ve never felt so at home
What will it take to make or break this hint of love?
We need time, only time
When we’re apart whatever are you thinking of?
If this is what I call home, why does it feel so alone?
So tell me darling, do you wish we’d fall in love?
All the time, all the time

Time together isn't ever quite enough
When we’re apart whatever are you thinking of?
What will it take to make or break this hint of love?
So tell me darling, do you wish we’d fall in love?
All the time..

Run !

- High School Life -
These days my school were getting messed up. I chased so much of my retarded subjects. Yesterday after school I took the susulan Ekonomi and guess what. I scored 61. Dang! What a pity. So I must study for 2 Economy tests (Remidi UTS + Remidi UH3) n Remidi Fisika (I scored 25, which is the worst in class. EMBARRASSING.) So I tried to study last nite after the AOG Crew practice but I slept accidentally. This morning I hurried and rushed to study and I think I did it well. Thanks God.. ^^
Remembering me when I was in low school and middle school.. I was a smart and diligent student. In low school I will get afraid easily if my score is bad. In middle school I scored really good in tests and got 1st category to enter high school on 10th place of the whole 9 graders. Now look at me. Pitiful. I must study well and I afraid I din pass the tests.. I hope I can advance to XI Grade, Science class. Yes, I must! I won't wanna stay in X grade. If I get rejected from science and get thrown into social, it's OK. It means that it's my limit to divide the time for dance and school. But God, please help me again so I can enter science, if it's Your will.. I will study hard for the last tests. I don't wanna be a retarded Rei.

- Streetdance Life -
Let's see the kaleidoscope. So far I performed 15 times.

- PERFORMANCES.
1 - Pensi SMP Petra 5, 28 March 2009
Here is my first dance performance ever! I danced really enjoyfully. I thought to myself, "I'm cool" along the dance. Well, this was the first time I earned my crazy hobby, hip hop dancing. I love it and I won't forget the journey to this performance.. ^^

2 - Ribka's Touch Of Dream, 9th May 2009
My second performance in my Sis's Sweet 17 party.. Here, we practiced for only 2 hours. Danced with only 1 song. Embarrassing. Danced so "lebay"ly. But enjoyed it. Created SEN CREW. So happy that time :)

LM's Workshop, Krumpin' n Funk Style, August 2009. It's LM's workshop and I was so excited. I danced with fun and rythm. And I got the best 4 krumper award.. Me (4th), Juju (3rd), ?, Erick (2nd). This day was the first day I befriended Juju, and I din know Erick. Erick was a total stranger for me. I was so happy to get the award and decided to become a real krumper.. This was the history.

3 - Merlin's Sweet 17, August 2009
Same song with the last, changed choreography. Here, I met Takupaz Dance Crew for the first time and thought it's ordinary. I din know dance crews in the world out there. And battled with Diego and Leo. It's funny to think of it rite now. Haha..

4 - Petra 5's Competition, JMP (Jiwa Merah Putih), August 2009
Danced with the same choreography. Gosh! It's embarrasing. I still dance 'lebay'ly and disgustingly. I wouldn't dare to watch the video again now. It'll get creepy. Haha..

SEN Crew, in my management, got Ce Linda (Miss_B Minute) as a tutor.. But we only practiced once cuz we had no place to practice. And I looked for the place crazily..

5 - Ciputra's Event - Exotic Dance Competition, October 2009
Wow ! My 1st dance competition!!! Crazy. It makes me nervous like crazy. C Linda, Ko Leo, my big bro watched me. Wowie. Here I met a lot of streetdancers. TTP, and Frix! But I haven't recognize them. I just now Mia is in people's spotlight of having a great power. But I din even noe her name back then. I just know "a girl with curly hair". Haha.. I'm amazed with Fung2 too. He's a great streetdancer and he can break! Gosh. Here, I din dance with detail and nervous like crazy. Ce Linda told me to get optimistic..

6 - Worm, Petra 5's Christmas Event, December 2009
Danced with 3 person concept. K-pop song in. I got a little bored in dance but still searches for the reasons to dance.. Then here, danced but not really detail and still nervous..

Finally found SEN Crew's place to practice!!! Just have to manage well. But suddenly AOG Crew asked me to join them in reccomendation of Ce Linda. There's a little problem where I got in a fight with Ichel, but later on I joined and left SEN Crew.. Promised I'd manage them still, but I din do even until now..

7 - UPH Dance Competition - PHBE, January 2010
After a long time I din dance, I danced here. Really, I had fun learning some crazy concept. Here, in the first day I danced looking down and Ce Linda told me to be more optimistic. So in the second day I din really got nervous anymore and danced straight-faced.

Officially an AOG Crew member after Mike Rock's workshop. Ce Linda introduced me to LM that I'm a new member of it..

8 - Va-Mos Dance, 13 March 2010
Danced with AOG Crew for the 1st time! Here, I danced a little "lebay", low powered(for a member of AOG Crew), and not detail. I forgot the moves a little too. Here I realized I still need to learn a ton and then try to keep up with AOG Crew..

9 - Vitacimin Dance Competition, 29 March 2010
Wow, my 1st dance competition with AOG! Met a lot of real streetdancers and starting to know their world. Then I danced with low details and low power.. I got down and try to boost again.

10 - Loop Dance Comopetition, 30-31 March 2010
Here, I tried to dance with power and friends told me that's the way. But I should still crave for more power. I danced with low detail too. And in freestyle, I got nervous.. The 2nd day, final, I forgot the moves a lot in locking part.

11 - Venom Dance Competition, April 2010
Great, I danced with confidence but still lack of it in freestyle.. Details.. Uggh

12 - Petra Parade, April 2010
Danced with Petra 5 again! It's fun, really. Nice. Got close with Frix Crew starting here.

13 - HiLo Dance Competition, April 2010
Danced with Petra 5 again. Fun fun fun ^^ Here I supported TTP and Frix alot..

14 - AOG performance at Cito, May 2010
Danced for the first time with Betet. It's a nice dance and we had fun. I still lack of details..

15 - Adrenaline Dance Competition, May 2010
Well this is the latest. I danced with medium power, dunno why it feels lower than before. Maybe it's because i sleep late the days before.. And I still lack of details as Garry said. God please help me dance enjoyfully but with details.. Now I learn moves faster than I do back then. I never got nervous and it's fun to dance in front of people..
Well, I still need to get better a lot. I must have huuuge dream in this dance life..
HUGE DREAMS!

People sometimes have huge dreams but can never reach them.. Maybe it's their own fate. But maybe it's because they lack of confidence, and lack of hard work. But who knows what's really behind. I think it's not fair when someone works really hard, trusts God, but still din get their dream. But it's God's way, and it'll be just like that. What about my dance life? Will it get better and better? Yeah it will. But will I get to be like Kak Sem or even any other international streetdancers? Well.. I have to believe that I'll do. But people have their own limit. I must work extra hard to surpass my limit if it is to happen in my life.. Even now, look at me. I'm still really far from those TTP guys. With AOG crew member as well. I must run double times, even thousand times to chase and surpass them, really. Maybe it's painful to run and don't stop. But it's just the way.. Run and ignore the pain. Let's just believe. Someday.. ^^

If You Leave..

You think I'm so full of it, full of it
But I think I'm just fed up, baby
You think I can be so arrogant, arrogant
But I'm just tryna get keep my head up, baby

You think I procrastinate baby
But I think I'm taking my time
You think you need to leave
But I think I disagree, but

If you believe you'll do best without me
I'll let it go girl, it's over
But before we say good bye
Let's give it a try

If you leave then baby I'll leave
I'll let it go girl, it's over
But I have no doubt
We can work it out

Yeah, I think you're so full of it, full of it
You just don't know when to let up baby
I think you're so arrogant, arrogant
That you think you're so much better baby..

That I think it ain't healthy for me to judge..
You by your flaws and that's why I
Know I could criticize, but I put that aside
To focus on you and I

But if you believe you'll do best without me
Then I'll let it go boy, it's over
But before we say goodbye
Lets give it a try

If you leave then baby I'll leave
I'll let it go boy, it's over
But I have no doubt
We can work it out, yeah

Now if you wanna go
Baby then I'll let you go
And even though I'm tryna hold on
I can't if you don't

Now if you leave me you're gonna miss me
And I'm not saying that I'll be here waiting
Since we here right now
Instead of just walking out
Let's work to reach the point that I know we can be

But if you believe you'll do best without me
I'll let you go, it's over
It's over..
But before we say
Let's give it a try

If you leave then baby I'll leave..
I'll let it go, it's over..
I have no doubt
We can work it out.

If you believe you'll do best without me..
I'll let it go girl, it's over..
Before we say goodbye..
Let's give it a try.

If you leave then baby I'll leave..

Vacuum For Awhile.

8th-9th May 2010. WM University's Adrenaline Dance Competition.

# First Day
This day rawcks! I skipped school. And I went to Ichel's house in the morning. She just woke up and it's funny. And then I burned the song then we watched SYTYCD with "Ramalama Bang Bang" zombie dance. Wkwkwk.. And then we went to drop Juju, then PTC but all the shops are still closed as well as the hair extension salon. So we went to Nur Salon near Goci, which is directly beside my aunt's just opened-store and there was a party. Then I saw my mom and my sis and my big family so I ran inside the salon with face covered with my bag. But later my sis saw Ichel and I must greet the whole family ==" Luckily it isn't that long and Ichel got her hair extended with pink and white hair, and I got my hair waxed and it's nice :) Then we went to Cito where I met Ian, and Ranger was there as well then we bought purple and pink Sasha. And then got me n Erick's hair sprayed. My hair looks thousand nice! God this was a nice hair day. It happens rarely. Haha.. Then we danced. T-Point(Garry, Dewi, Tirza, and Beatrix) was there. Frateran was too. We got to big 5! Nice :) Then there was a little competition where we must run to search for "Fren"'s counter inside GoCi. Me and Ichel was a pair. Garry was with Dewi. Olga was with Andre. Then we ran inside and like crazy we searched for Fren Mobile Counter. Then after a long search.. A security told us that it's not Fren the mobile counter like we thought so, it's "Friend" Boutique! No wonder they gave us the clue "style"! Arrgghh.. Me and Ichel ran directly there, got the signature and went back. 2 x Rp. 25.000,- voucher to shop there. Not really nice ~_~

Then AOG went to Citraland to design our own costume. It's about us and our style. So every person has to design their own with the given color: pink, blue, green. Okay, my design was: Short left sleeve, long right sleeve, jumper, and radioactive-like style in the middle. I hope it'll turn out cool in 25 May ^^

Then we went to LM Homebase again to practice. After the practice we shared alot. It was really nice. Here, we know why we're not getting into Last Minute Street Crew. And why T din enter. And one by one must tell our own feeling in AOG. Then I told them that it's nice to be there, that even if I'm the foolest, they still wanna teach me. And Ce Linda insulted me about feeling I'm the foolest. I shouldn't feel that way. Then Erick, Chachia, and Juju told us about the story that they hid from me. The story of someone saying I came to ***'s club twice and that I practiced there and I entered their crew. What?? I never came to that place, I don't even know where it is. So here we know,, Many people is trying to separate us. Not only us, it's LMSC huge family. We must be aware, but keep nice 2 everyone. Still, I can't accept that she's saying that to my crew.. Lying such a thing about me. Slimy little snake.

We went to PTCin the night. I played with Ivan alot and we went home. (Yet again, I became a burden for Juju's dad) Before sleep, I practiced harshly for the final.

# Second Day.
After church, I went to practice at LM Homebase and good thing I din forget anything ^^ And we went to GoCi. There was that slimy little (i mean FAT) snake there. Then we danced and she acted so nice. It's nice that Mia, Dian, Anas came. :) There were those HBS guyz too. Then we went to PTC after. We went crazy like in a pub at Woof Woof. Took nice and cool photos a ton. Now wait for the upload.. We took the 1st place. It's really nice!!! Thanks God.. ^^ Keep humble, keep humble, and keep up the pace.. ^^
--------------------------------------------------------------

Well that's yesterday.
Today I skipped school.
And I really wanna skip school again this Saturday cuz there was SBO Dance Competition, and Suri will made his last performance with Frix there.
I must competite too.
But it's Friday 9 p.m. till Saturday 3 a.m.
But I think my parents won't let me skip anymore. I skipped too much, and the following week will be UKK.
Arrrghh.. I wanna perform, I really wanna.
I wanna watch Frix again.
It's a big dance competition..
I hope I can perform.
There was another offer.
8 p.m. Tunjungan Plaza's Midnight shopping.
We were asked to perform there.
But then we won't meet those other streetdancers.
ARRGHH
God, please let SBO be my last performance before UKK.
I wish, I wish, I wish!
Then I'll go vacuum for 2 weeks..

Unupdated Updates.

1st May 2010. Freaked Me Out.
The night after HiLo Teen Dance Competition, I told my mom I'm spending my money to buy my own BB. I decided to buy Gemini since it's my own money. Then my mom told me why not buy then. And we went to Marina, there my mom bought me Javelin. Freaked me out! I didn't think it'll be this fast. I thought it'll be on August that I'll buy it with my own money. But now, for free and better edition.. Syalala~ Thank God!! He heard me :)

2nd May 2010. Job @ Cito.
AOG got a job from Juju's real far siblings. To perform in Cito's Hipermart Event. We performed twice. The 1st performance was with Betet. This was my first performance with Betet too. Nice. He's so funny like crazy and sexy! Haha.. (Remembered what we talked about the night before. That's nice to open up.) N Julia asked Frix to perform too so they did this day. And like usual, they're great like best and they really cheered the crowd. We enjoyed them to the fullest :)
In the night, I watched Iron Man 2 with Ichel and her family. I feel shy to be in this situation.

6th May 2010. 4th Week G-Center's Regular Class ; My Sis's Birthday.
Nice day where Lia joined our class the first time. And my sis's birthday. Happy birthday :) In the night, I mixed the song for final till 3 A.M. Then sleep. It's crazy.

7th May 2010. Practice at LM Homebase.
We practiced for 2 hours and it's real tiring like crazy. The choreo for Tick Tock is somehow complex and confusing and I din really get it. In the night I was prompted to mix the audition song but it's not really bad.

NEXT DAYS AFTER THIS POST (ABOVE THIS POST)

Tiring Weeks.

Now every week there is dance competitions.
2 weeks I performed with Petra 5's dance team and I'm so proud.
I enjoy being with them.
Last night practiced with AOG Crew n just got home at 12 o' clock.
Nice day, I was outta home for 18 hours.
Today was HiLo Dance Competition.
TTP rocked the house.
Frix as well (sadly Suri's pants went down and it must be extremetely embarrassing)
Takupaz....well ya know.
Takupaz took 1st place.
Well, again.
Oh yeah, surprising thing.
The mystery is still there to reveal.
Sooner or later, we will know the real truth.
Streetdancers should fight honorably.

It's Obvious Now.

Yesterday had fun with Mia and the whole crew.
We placed the 3rd place, with embarrassment from UK Petra.
Congratz for Fratz and Frix, you were sooo cool and entertaining!!


If I take a look in my previous videos (they're in my FB lo ^^), from my first dance competition (UC Cup), Worm Performance @ KKR Paskah with the new videos.. They're totally different. The difference is really clear. Not detail to detail, nervous to not nervous, no totality to totality, half power to power. It's getting better from every aspects :) I used to put this in my mind, "Everyone's skill will not get better. It's like that since the first time and depending on born-talent the most." But now I know it's wrong. It's obvious now..
Everyone is getting better from their EFFORTS.

Well, after knowing I get better I won't be satisfied. I'll try and keep hard working to be a better and better STREETDANCER.. ^^

Right Motivation? Dunno..

In school, there was KKR Paskah. It's really nice and I dunno why, but I can feel the family feeling here in PD Team a little now. It's comfy to be with them, even though I don't know all of them well. And when the KKR began, I started getting crazy in musics following the choir's moves, dancing ndangdut like crazy. Haha.. I wanna fulfill the purpose: "To make God smile, and scatter my passion to the people around." So then I tried to be a nice servant for Him.
And then there's a short movie. About a father, who's really close with his beloved son. They'd sleep together, and watch stars.. Really, they are close with each other. Then one day, his son accompanied him to work as a bridge guard. His job is to raise the bridge when a ship below is about to pass. And then suddenly when a ship is passing by. A train came too fast than expected. His son is the first to saw the train, and screamed to the father. Then the little boy ran to the middle of the bridge, and fell to the engine. and then the ship passed. now's the train. The bridge is still hanging up. The father now is given 2 choice.. To sacrifice his son for the people in the train, or to save his son and let the train crash. He cried, and cried. The train is coming near. And..*Clang* He pulled the lever. His beloved son died of the bridge's pressure.. Months later, he worked in the station. And he saw a little boy with his mom.. And he recalled his conversation with his son..
"Dad, can you see that star?"
"Where?"
"The one in the north sky.."
"The shining one?"
"Yeah.."
"That one.. When you see it, that means someone is thinking about you."
"Really? Then now, who's thinking about me?"
"Me.."
Really after the movie I cried. Tears flowing rapidly.. It's been a long time since I went through this kinda moment. Like God sacrificing His Own Son for us.. Huahh.. I mustn't do bad things again > < Back to Streetdance.
I went to UKP and 2nd accompanied me. It kinda boils me. Everytime I see 2nd's face sometimes I get really mad. I always get this bitter flashback.. Bitter memories.. Then my mood will drop. So I tried to keep my look away. Luckily Patty came and rescued the day. So we waited for our performance. Then we performed with some LM guys watching. C-Style, Smoothie, D-Phobia, Belmot, Pete Tic.. Yeye too. And Frix was there already. God.. Luckily I did my best n din forget the moves.. ^^ But one of my crew forgot some in the locking part. Well, that's forgiven. It's a 3-day learn :o And then Kak Sem told us about power.. I shoulda lower my power more. (Kak Sem called me "Rere" on stage.. Haha) Then about blocking.. And so. And after that, Frix performed and it was funny like crazy. More on Carla. Hahaha.. Crazy girl. Then Ko Adid, Ko Nico, Ko Peter, and CARLA freestyled. Carla did a sexy freestyle.. Hahah.. Then Kak Sem and Carla battled n it was so romantic.. Ngiakakakka~ And then P5 n Frix were called to go battle. Here I did my bad n din enjoy the beat.. The song is IMMA BE and I know I can't stand BEP songs =< The result.. BIG 3!
Nice one..
Hope I can do the best tomorrow with the right motivation.. ^^

COPYCAT WARNING!
Please stop copying. It's my own mind and please use your own mind. It's my own feeling and use yours even though it's similiar. Please let me show my style and you show your style. No one wants to be copied.. I hope you understand.

I'll Try and Give My Best.

Thursday.
-> During Bahasa class when my group's prompted to give a presentation about our school in front of the class, I was clearly not ready. Me n' Onel was the talker. And then I started calling the audience (my classmates) "adik2" and then we present our school as if we're presenting it to middle school students. And Onel was so funny because of his innocence and crazy mind.. Haha. Then, we attracted the teacher's attention and prompted to do this in other class. Wowie, this is the 2nd time for me. Bahasa class really just needs some student with blabbermouth.. Haha..
-> The Bahasa teacher reminded me about the class assignment where I'm the leader of creative team, to make a book of our own poem and short story. Well, I never had the time to work it, but next week I'll try to have the time to. With the help of Edward and Gaby. Not only myself.. ^^
-> There was vocal group competition in school's hall. And we performed with like, about 10 people of our class. We sang "Karena Kita" and "SepertiMu" since the theme is easter. And now let's wait 4 the result..
-> I took my biology test this day myself since I din take it weeks ago. It's really an easy test. Thank God I studied well..

-> Regular Class again! Ko Nico taught us. Again, physical exercise like crazy and he told us not to be too kind to our body. Give it military exercise and we have to hold every pain. OK then, I'll be better next week! Today he taught us the basic bounce. It's simple but I still need to work on the details. Danced for a long time doesn't mean I'm already good and don't need to learn these basics again, I still need to learn how to do them the right way.

This Day.
I brought a lot of ingredients for the cooking competition. I shoulda cook my homemade Potato Cheese-melted Spaghetti or my Spaghetti Carbonara, but the condition is to make a dish with eggs as the basic ingredients and I can't put it in. So we cooked Nasi Goreng Telur but it's crazy. Rafael bought Nasi Goreng last nite and brought it to school. Wen the competition started, we just recook the Nasi Goreng and added some egg and voila! Done. Hiahahahahaha.. Crazy guy! It's really funny.. wkwkwk~

After school, dance practice. We refreshed again, and I still din do well in details. For locking thing, I'm not really good but I'll do it my best. We practiced really hard and it wasted a lot of power and energy. Tomorrow, our hard work and effort must be satisfied. We practiced hard and we have to win at least in Big 3! But back to the basic, dance not to win, not to raise your own name, but for God. It's hard to do so but I'll try. What about both? OK, then.. Dance to EXPRESS and to IMPRESS! That's the way. Tomorrow many X people and some people I don't like will be watching and that's my hard and extreme motivation I need to do it my best. Imma show 'em that I'm not like them. I'm different. I can express myself through streetdance, and that it's my state of art. Really, I want to. But that's a wrong motivation and I won't really do that. I must have the right motivation to dance. But for the krumping part, why not think of them and their lameness? It'll boost my power for real. But I must keep the team's power balanced.. Won't wanna be the crazy one. So I have to lower my power.. In AOG I'm considered low powered, but now reversed.. Hiahh.. In AOG I have to chase Erick and Juju's power and now I have to reduce it. OK, team is the most important thing. I'll do it and try to keep up with their power.. Jiayou, rei! ^^